Science Humor: A Wide Selection

[DennisN]

 

[mfb]

Alternative ending:

 

[M Grandin]

- "Please Einstein - when did you realize nothing can travel faster than light?"

- "It was when I trained running 100 m on the sports ground - but the time elapsed was the same however
much I tried doing better!"

 

[davenn]

Friday funny

 

[Enigman]

 

[davenn]

haha good one

 

[OmCheeto]

Shamelessly stolen from NDT's Facebook page:

In Chemistry class the cylinders know more than you do because they're already graduated

The thermometers know more than the cylinders though, because they have many degrees.

Well, if you’re not part of the Solution, then you must be part of the Precipitate.​

 

[scavengeriel]

I hate that i get it

 

[collinsmark]

Well, if you’re not part of the Solution, then you must be part of the Precipitate.​

I have a t-shirt with that.

 

[davenn]

a couple of Friday funnies to end the week ...

 

[Greg Bernhardt]

 

[Adoniram]

https://scontent-dfw1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/11960168_870928259629695_6701786129698772564_n.jpg?oh=c59cd535745b60faf864abf35a17b4c1&oe=568DCA62

 

[kmacv22]

RE

The mother is 21 years older than the child.
In 6 years, the mother will be 5 times as old as the child.

Question: Where's the father?

answer:
-9 months . . . think about it

What?

 

[Borg]

What?

He's implying that the father is currently in bed with the mother.

21 minus 9 months = 20.25
(20.25 + 6) / 5 = 5.25 which means that the baby is currently being conceived.

 

[Borek]

 

[DennisN]

(from http://xkcd.com/1591/)

 

[MostlyHarmless]

What is the contour integral around Western Europe?0 all the poles are in Eastern Europe.

 

[DennisN]

I read a fun section in an interview with Abhay Ashtekar (theoretical physicist):

(Interviewer):
One of them even made a claim that alternative approaches have been incorporated to string theory and, therefore, it’s the only true theory.

(Abhay Ashtekar):
Joe Polchinski, a very prominent string theorist, he did say explicitly that – this was some years ago, at KITP [Kavli Institute of Theoretical Physics] Santa Barbara at its 25th anniversary. He said, well, string theory has incorporated everything. String theory is a little like Microsoft because at that time Microsoft was incorporating everything. He said loop quantum gravity was more like Apple. I thought it was a great complement! [Laughs] He explicitly said so. I said somehow I could accept Apple; at least Microsoft wouldn’t gobble us up!

Source: http://thewire.in/2015/10/29/good-scientists-solve-problems-but-great-scientists-know-whats-worth-solving-14279/ (The Wire, 29 Oct 2015)

 

[DrClaude]

http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?id=3919

 

[MostlyHarmless]

...the adverb virtually is used to modify a property so that it need only hold for a subgroup of finite index. Given a property P, the group G is said to be virtually P if there is a finite index subgroup H≤G such that H has property P...

So, finite groups are virtually trivial. What's the big deal?

 

[mfb]

They are not really trivial!

 

[Enigman]

 

[Greg Bernhardt]

New thread
https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/science-jokes-p2.847743/