What is the reality of finding a perfect partner?

[Evo]

There does happen to be a pic up of MIH in the member photo thread you know.
There also happens to be a very cute pic of Rose though a more recent one would definitely be nice to see.

TSA, this picture of MIH will make your feet sweat.

 

[Greg Bernhardt]

I have photos of me yes, but i have refused to upload them thus far.

franznietzsche, just because I want to poke you doesn't mean I want to see a photo of you. I ment a photo of MIH!

(ok, I'm really done with the poking joke, its even getting old for me)

Lisa, you request a dating service, but are already taken! You tease!

 

[franznietzsche]

franznietzsche, just because I want to poke you doesn't mean I want to see a photo of you. I ment a photo of MIH!
(ok, I'm really done with the poking joke, its even getting old for me)

Whew, I was starting to worry.

 

[Lisa!]

Lisa, you request a dating service, but are already taken! You tease!

Yeah, right now I'm taken with my awful exam in Feb.
Anyway why I can't request a dating service even if I'm taken?
If all guys around here would be taken, they wouldn't talk to me any more and then I'll get bored to death and decide to study my exam!

 

[honestrosewater]

Well, a blend seems like a good idea. female guy could give us femguy. But that sounds too much like fungi (and I don't even want to think about what uses guys might come up with for femguy fungi, Guys are so gross). It sounds more like it means feminine guy anyway. What about fuy (rhymes with guy)? Whatever, I just want us to be first alphabetically.

I hate taking pictures, but I'll take new ones soon.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

If all guys around here would be taken, they wouldn't talk to me any more and then I'll get bored to death and decide to study my exam!

I would talk to you even if you were taken! You should probably take care of that exam though.

I hate taking pictures, but I'll take new ones soon.

And PF will rejoice!

 

[Lisa!]

I would talk to you even if you were taken! You should probably take care of that exam though.

Thank you!

 

[Schrodinger's Dog]

The term you use is situational, I've been know to use the term bints before which would be offensive to anyone in the North of England but down in the South no one uses it so it's more amusing than offensive, at the end of the day it's pointless to get all worried about someone calling you hun, if it wasn't meant to be derogatory then why take it as such? What do you bints want to drink?

 

[franznietzsche]

The term you use is situational, I've been know to use the term bints before which would be offensive to anyone in the North of England but down in the South no one uses it so it's more amusing than offensive, at the end of the day it's pointless to get all worried about someone calling you hun, if it wasn't meant to be derogatory then why take it as such? What do you bints want to drink?

If i was to go around, saying I was an emperor, just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me...

 

[Schrodinger's Dog]

Monty python and the Holy grail.
How do we tell if she's a witch? Burn her,burn her, burn her!,burn her!
Look that nose is just stuck on withs tring and those ears?
She is a witch?
How do you know?
She put a curse on my brother?
That's a lie!
What floats on a river?
wood, a boat, a bridge, burn her! Burn her!
A duck!
Who are you that is so wise in the ways of science?
So if A duck floats and a witch floats then?
Ermmmm? She must be a duck?!?
No.
What weighs as much as a witch?
A duck?
Weigh her wiegh her?
proceeds to weigh her and finds she weighs as much as a duck.
It's a fair cop.

and.

I was presented with excalibur by the lady of the lake, showing that I alone had devine right to be your king!
Well that's no basis for government, if I was to go round claiming I was emperor just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me.
But I am your king!
This is a narcistic commune, with the right to govern decided by a panel of the electorate.
But I'm your king!
I never voted for you.
You don't vote for a king!
Dont opress me.
I'm not opressing you!
Now we see the violence inherent in the system!
A marxist in a film about the dark ages, great film

 

[Astronuc]

Things like being cute or attractive are not synonymous with things like being pretty, or beautiful.

How does one figure that?

I perfer to use lady/woman or ladies/women in addressing or reference to females. Girls I would use for perhaps females 16 and under.

 

[Astronuc]

But I don't find, say, Evo attractive nor cute. (No offense!)

I let this one go unchallenged too long. I'd have to say that's a sad case of impaired judgement (No offense! ), probably due to inexperience. Well, afterall, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I do agree with the other assessments though, although Gale is cute and attractive.

Seriously, Evo is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen, and probably the most beautiful.

Evo is a might fine woman and quite the free spirit, and I am greatly honored to be her friend.

 

[Moonbear]

How does one figure that?

He's trying to save his butt from the wrath of the PF Sisterhood. Does anyone else think cute means something different than beautiful or pretty? Actually, I think of pretty as the overall term, and cute and beautiful as subsets of that (okay, now you math types should understand that explanation ). To me, cute connotes a different demeanor as well as just being pretty. Someone who is perky or a bit silly or some of those fun things that suggest you know more about their personality beyond just looks. Beautiful I think of as more the calm, proper woman...one you'd admire more as artwork in a museum rather than wanting to hang up on your wall at home. That's probably where Hurkyl gets the distinction between attractiveness...the difference between looking at someone and thinking she's pretty, and looking at someone and thinking not only is she pretty, but she's my type. Or maybe I'm just letting him off the hook too easy.

I perfer to use lady/woman or ladies/women in addressing or reference to females. Girls I would use for perhaps females 16 and under.

I think I usually use women when referring to a group of females, but when directly addressing them, I don't really use anything...it's more, "Can I get you anything?" or, "Have you all decided what to do after we leave this place?" Whereas, it seems flattering when a guy comes up and asks, "Can I get you ladies anything?" or "Have you ladies decided what to do after we leave here?" (In the opposite situation, I'd use the term "gentlemen" for referring to a group of men if the intent was flattery.) That's the situation where some men come along and use the term "girls," and the context where I don't care much for it, unless they're talking to a group of Girl Scouts. "Ladies" is also a safe bet for young women - older teens or young 20-somethings. They're at an age where they don't want to be thought of as children anymore, so "girls" doesn't seem right, but they feel too young to think of themselves as "women" yet.

Oh, I did think of a situation where I think it would be okay to call adult women "girls." If you're talking to a group of elderly women...in their 70s or older...and refer to them as "girls," they know there's no question at all about their maturity or status as adults at that age, so it's more a form of flattery letting them know they still have a youthful demeanor (of course, "youthful" at that age can mean they act like 40-soemthings)...basically, it compliments them on good health and attitude, that they aren't wasting their retirement years sitting in a rocker and watching soap operas while complaining about their sciatica.

Anyway, that's all good if you're addressing women and know their approximate age when you're talking to them, so can adjust the terms to fit the situation, but it doesn't address the versatility of the term "guys" for a general reference to males of any age. That's what's nice about "guys" is it doesn't distinguish between a 14 yr old and a 90 yr old, so you can use it as an all-inclusive term. Even "gals" doesn't really sound to me as all-inclusive. Let's say I wanted to talk about the participants in some sort of mother-daughter event...is there a collective term that really works to refer to both the girls and women without having to say, "girls and women?" In that case, if I referred only to "girls," you'd think I was talking about the daughters present, and if I referred to "women," that would sound like it was just referring to the mothers present. Does "ladies" work in that situation? Even then, I think of "ladies" as referring to the adults in a group more than the children (when referring to children, I would usually say something like "young ladies" to make a distinction from adults). If you refer to all the "females" present, it sounds way too clinical.

 

[Gale]

being not-cute blows...

at any rate, i refer to myself as a gal all the time. but i did spend a few years in texas, so i dunno. I'm werid.

 

[Astronuc]

In a social situation, I would address a group of women using "Ladies", or in a mixed crowd I would use "Ladies and gentlemen".

For me "guys" is rather familiar, so I would use it probably only with friends, and generically for both men and women.

Otherwise I might use "folks".

One-on-one, I would probably use "Ma'am or madame", or "madmoiselle", as in "Excuse me, Ma'am" or "Pardon me, Ma'am", and for men "Excuse me, sir".

But then again, I am an anachronism in this world.

 

[Lisa!]

the difference between looking at someone and thinking she's pretty, and looking at someone and thinking not only is she pretty, but she's my type. Or maybe I'm just letting him off the hook too easy.

sometimes people look at someone and find her beautiful, but they think "she's too beautiful or too good to be mine!" or "I wouldn't think of her at all since I know I can never get her!".

 

[The_Professional]

i refer to my buddies as girls, but that's usually to pick on them.

I hate taking pictures, but I'll take new ones soon.

just do it.

 

[honestrosewater]

being not-cute blows...

Huh? I thought you were cute but not attractive?

at any rate, i refer to myself as a gal all the time. but i did spend a few years in texas, so i dunno. I'm werid.

That reminds me of the nightingale who sings "Fuy! fuy! fuy!". Coincidence? Sign?

 

[Hurkyl]

He's trying to save his butt from the wrath of the PF Sisterhood. Does anyone else think cute means something different than beautiful or pretty? Actually, I think of pretty as the overall term, and cute and beautiful as subsets of that (okay, now you math types should understand that explanation ). To me, cute connotes a different demeanor as well as just being pretty. Someone who is perky or a bit silly or some of those fun things that suggest you know more about their personality beyond just looks. Beautiful I think of as more the calm, proper woman...one you'd admire more as artwork in a museum rather than wanting to hang up on your wall at home. That's probably where Hurkyl gets the distinction between attractiveness...the difference between looking at someone and thinking she's pretty, and looking at someone and thinking not only is she pretty, but she's my type. Or maybe I'm just letting him off the hook too easy.

I think this is reasonably close to accurate -- I don't think I could put it better in any case.

Of course, I mean except for the insinuation that I'm backpedaling.

 

[Astronuc]

I think this is reasonably close to accurate -- I don't think I could put it better in any case.
Of course, I mean except for the insinuation that I'm backpedaling.

Good save!

 

[tribdog]

Well, for me, it's nowhere near so clear cut. Sure, Monique is absolutely adorable! But I don't find, say, Evo attractive nor cute. (No offense!) And Gale is cute, I suppose, but I don't find her attractive.
And I don't think I ever considered honestrosewater cute & attractive until after this thread.

I knew I let this thread get too big before I started reading it. I wanted to read it all before I commented but I have to stop right here.
How the hell do you survive on your own? It HAS to be difficult to go through life blind, stupid AND clueless. Throw in the fact that you are flat out lying and you are quite the specimen.
Evo is so beautiful she takes my breath away, throw in the facts that she's brilliant, funny and a genuinely nice person and she is as close to perfect as you'll ever find, next to me. I don't know her anywhere other than here, so she might have something like hairy toes in real life, but everything known about her here is attractive. To say you don't find her attractive sounds like the lame attempt of a person with low self esteem trying to ingratiate himself with the lower class by insulting the upper class.
Then to say Gale is cute but not attractive is as asinine a comment as I've heard since Saint got banned. Gale has turned me on more times than I can possibly count. I would love to see you two meet, she would have you spending all your money on her then going and asking mom and dad for a loan so you could take her out on a second date. Which I hope she would decline because I want her for myself.
Then you get it right with HRW, she is cute and attractive, but after you got it so wrong with the other two, it almost sounds like an insult coming from you.
Think about apologizing, then don't be offended when they tell you to kiss their butts. If they take the time to respond to someone like you, which they might not because you are obviously not in their league.

 

[ShawnD]

trib, not everyone is attracted to the same kind of people. For example, I've heard people say Sarah Jessica Parker is attractive, but I think she's not attractive at all.

Evo and Gale are both sexy beasts

 

[Astronuc]

In all seriousness, the February 2006 of National Geographic has an interesting and perhaps provocative article on Love. Gee, just in time for Valentine's Day.

An excerpt can be found at - http://www7.nationalgeographic.com/ngm/0602/feature2/index.html

Scientists say that the brain chemistry of infatuation is akin to mental illness—which gives new meaning to "madly in love."

Novelty triggers dopamine in the brain, which stimulates feelings of attraction. So riding a roller-coaster on a first date is more likely to lead to a second and third dates.

So do something exciting on the first date, or see a really good movie, or go to really good concert, i.e. do something with a strong positive emotional response. But the risk is that it will be a transient emotional (psychological) state that may not be sustainable.

'Love' and obsessive-compulsive disorder could have a similar chemical profile in the brain! Translation: Love and mental illness may be difficult to tell apart. Translation: Don't be a fool. Stay away.

Biochemists say that the feverish stage of love, the passionate love, typically burns out after a few years, because the brain cannot sustain the intense neural activity of infatuation.

Studies from around the world seem to confirm that passion usually ends.

There is an example of Emily and Marion Grillot who have been married for 58 years and have 20 children and 77 grand children. Biochemically, it may have to do with oxytocin. However, Marion Gillot mentions "it's our commitment and concern for one another. Some call it love."

 

[loseyourname]

Well, it's very scary asking this, but are the hangups, insecurities, and such that you're referring to only the ones regarding dating, men, and such -- the stuff I'm talking about in this thread? There are things in other areas of my life that I wish weren't so and want to change, but I'm not sure how much criticism I could take at once. If you want to point out specific things, that might be helpful. They might be things that I would agree I should change and just haven't noticed or wanted to face (this is where the scariness comes in).
And this might sound defensive at first, but I am working on it.

It's only the ones regarding men. Frankly, you strike me as a bit of a sheltered shut-in, but I could be wrong. It's like men are more of a curiosity to be studied from afar than anything you have much a personal acquaintance with. Did you grow up with a man in the house? You also seem like the kind of person that'll like a guy, but kill herself overthinking it and never even say anything.

Hm, I think we would fight a lot unless our 'styles' changed. I mean, I sometimes allow myself to be too uncomfortable in order to avoid making others uncomfortable, and you don't seem to worry too much about that. I've been working on correcting that, but I'm not sure I would want to end up where you are; I think you might not worry enough about others' comfort for my taste.

True, I really don't change my personality much to accommodate others; on the other hand, I don't have all that imposing of a personality, and I'm great at accepting people at face value and not asking them to change anything (on the other hand, if there is something I don't like, I might not expect you to change, but I'm still not going to like you and will likely just ignore you). I'm very non-confrontational, and rarely fight, simply because I don't care enough about very much to fight over it. I can be rather violent and demonstrative if I am angered, though.

This kind of goes back to what I envision as your insecurity problem. You strike me as the kind of person that would be relatively easy to walk all over, and even though I'm not going to do that, if that's true, I'd have a difficult time respecting you.

I haven't figured out the right approach yet. For example, I think my not using smileys in this post because I know you don't like them is reasonable, but perhaps I'm wrong. I'm just saying... it seems like one of those things that could cause a lot of friction. (And not the good kind either.)

My personal relationship style is along the lines of "I won't get in your way if you won't get in mine." I pretty much do my own thing, and as long as you don't interfere, I'm pretty easy to get along with. On the other hand, because I'm not necessarily going to engage you in much since I'm usually doing my own thing, a relationship with me isn't always going to be very deep or life-changing. If you're the kind of person that has things together on her own and doesn't require much from a guy, I'm perfect for you.

Thanks for your opinion, by the way. (Haha, that smiley was just habit. But now I'm leaving it there as an experiment.)

I really just don't like them because they seem too teenager, like any kind of internet lingo. I won't even say "lol" or "brb" or anything like that because it seems stupid to me, but it's not like it angers me.

 

[Pengwuino]

I really just don't like them because they seem too teenager, like any kind of internet lingo. I won't even say "lol" or "brb" or anything like that because it seems stupid to me, but it's not like it angers me.

LOLOLOL! YOUR SO RIGHT LYN, LIK LOL! BRB GTG LUV U!

 

[Evo]

Evo and Gale are both sexy beasts

ShawnD, did I ever tell you what a brilliant mind and excellent taste you have. Not to mention attractive. :!) <sticks permanent GOOBF card into ShawnD's computer.

 

[Evo]

I knew I let this thread get too big before I started reading it. I wanted to read it all before I commented but I have to stop right here.

Hurkyl has a right to say what he thinks (besides, he already did a fine save in a subsequent post).

And thank you for the nice things you said about me and Gale, all true, btw!

 

[Pengwuino]

ShawnD, did I ever tell you what a brilliant mind and excellent taste you have. Not to mention attractive. :!) <sticks permanent GOOBF card into ShawnD's computer.

I agree, Evo and Gale are sexy beasts :!) :!) :!)

 

[Hurkyl]

Trib: do you really think I would have said any of that without a way out?

 

[kant]

Of course I don't think the same thing is wrong with all of them. That's just my way of saying that I'm sad and frustrated because I'd like to not be alone for the rest of my life, but I don't know what to do about it.
(Men and women,) What would you expect your spouse-type partner person to give up in order to have a happy relationship with you?

Your question reminded me of what einstein said about women and men. He commented that the two sex is muturally incompatable in the reason they marry one another for. The woman marry so that she may change the man, while the man marry to so that the relationship remain unchange. It is curious, because if you read between the lines, the 'bad boy' persona has the same effect on the early 20 th century women as it does now. haha...

 

[Astronuc]

A woman friend posted this elsewhere.
HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY
It's not difficult to make a woman happy.
A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little for himself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
54. give the authority but never expect her to be responsible
55. give her the last word no matter what the cost to your life and limb
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget: birthdays, anniversaries and arrangements she makes.

Well I blow it on the shopping (I hate shopping) and I'm not very rich, but I'm not poor either. I stress my wife out at times, but I always try to be there for her, like she is with me.

 

[Orefa]

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked.
2. Bring beer.

 

[Evo]

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked.
2. Bring beer.

Men are so much simpler than women!

 

[Astronuc]

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked.
2. Bring beer.

I left that part out intentionally - even in jest I do not like it. In the other post, #2 was bring food.

Perhaps some/many men have that attitude. I never did.

I simply went looking for a life partner, someone who was equally committed to a long-term, lifetime and reciprocal relationship - and I married her.

 

[Orefa]

I left that part out intentionally - even in jest I do not like it.

somehow i don't think comparing a person to a dog will make one feel better.

You guys are much too serious!