Collection of Lame Jokes

[phinds]

I was following up with a definite meaning of caper.
The prankster will have the caper backfire in him.
Pardon the expression, But he may get to have his caper, and eat it too.

OK, on re-reading your post, I do now see the joke in it. Missed that the first time ' round.

 

[fresh_42]

I think you've ridden the horse to death!

 

[phinds]

I think you've ridden the horse to death!

Hey. It was a frisky horse. It had been eating capers.

 

[jack action]

OK, the reason behind why people have been stocking on toilet paper is now known:

 

[256bits]

OK, on re-reading your post, I do now see the joke in it. Missed that the first time ' round.

I guess it wasn't a very lame joke ( or maybe too lame ) as it didn't even get a single like.

 

[davenn]

 

[jtbell]

My wife decided we're going to have macaroni and cheese for dinner tonight, so she put a box out on the kitchen counter, the usual tall skinny box containing uncooked macaroni and a packet of cheese sauce mix.

It has a little quiz on the back, in which you match words with pictures. If you ace it, does that make you a cheez whiz?

 

[Keith_McClary]

What commentators do when all the sports events are shut down:

 

[256bits]

That was kind of exciting!

 

[phinds]

That was kind of exciting!

I think the quarantine is having an effect on your judgement

 

[davenn]

That was kind of exciting!

uh huh

I think the quarantine is having an effect on your judgement

for sure, but still more entertaining that watching pain dry or grass grow

 

[mfb]

What commentators do when all the sports events are shut down

There is also a part 2.

 

[BillTre]

I've seen a commercial where an announcer is:

1. calling a race between two drops going down the inside of a bottle of some soft drink (product)
2. before the races ends (the drops reach the liquid in the bottle),
3. after which, he drinks it (commercial culmination and triumph!).

 

[phinds]

 

[Wrichik Basu]

 

[Keith_McClary]

This "gets it across":

 

[WWGD]

" My dog walked over sand paper"
"Was he hurt? How did he react?"
"He said rough-rough".

 

[WWGD]

"They fired me from the calendar factory"
"Why?"
" I took a day off".

 

[Borg]

I got bored today and entered 'coronavirus' into a slogan generator.

https://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi?word=coronavirus

 

[Wrichik Basu]

I got bored today and entered 'coronavirus' into a slogan generator.

https://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi?word=coronavirus

This one came out to be quite applicable in today's world:

And this one was the worst:

 

[fresh_42]

I had one which I will probably keep: "I'd rather bath in a bowl of Coronavirus!" That was useful.

 

[mfb]

It's Coronavirus Time

We're with the Coronavirus

They are right (although the second one is probably not meant that way).

Be Like Dad, Keep Coronavirus

Not sure about this one.

 

[WWGD]

The buffalo ,before leaving early in the day, to his young one:
"Bison".

 

[phinds]

The buffalo ,before leaving early in the day, to his young one:
"Bison".

You should be ashamed of yourself

 

[Ibix]

The buffalo ,before leaving early in the day, to his young one:
"Bison".

Where does a buffalo wash his face?

In the bison.

 

[Ibix]

Somebody's stolen my anti-depressants. Whoever they are, I hope they're happy.

 

[wrobel]

Text: you have got a package from China

 

[wrobel]

Somebody's stolen my anti-depressants. Whoever they are, I hope they're happy.

Doctor to a visitor: what worries you?
the visitor: enuresis worries me
The doctor prescribes: tranquilizers antidepressants.

After a week

the doctor to the visitor: how are you?
the visitor: I still have enuresis but it does not worry me any more.

 

[jack action]

​

The text reads: «I'm starting a new puzzle, it won't be easy.»

 

[BillTre]

 

[Ibix]

Someone's stolen my copy of Microsoft Office.

Whoever you are I will find you and I will take my vengeance - you have my Word!

 

[BillTre]

 

[Ibix]

In a few countries people have been showing their support for health workers by going outside and applauding at 8pm. There are now plans to extend this to other key workers. Tomorrow we're supporting delivery drivers - please come outside and applaud sometime between 9am and 5pm.

 

[DrGreg]

In a few countries people have been showing their support for health workers by going outside and applauding at 8pm. There are now plans to extend this to other key workers. Tomorrow we're supporting delivery drivers - please come outside and applaud sometime between 9am and 5pm.

Sorry, I can't manage that, but I'll put a card out.

 

[jtbell]

Where does a buffalo wash his face?

In the bison.

That's an Australian buffalo, right?