Collection of Lame Jokes

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In summary: It's a humor that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness. It's not for everyone.Not a fan of surrealism, I take it?In summary, surrealism is an art form that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness, often producing incongruous imagery or effects. It may not be appreciated by everyone, but for those who do, it can be quite humorous.
  • #14,946
Screenshot_20230312-135254_Samsung Internet.jpg
 
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  • #14,947
WWGD said:
She saw the light on the night that she passed by his window,
she saw the flickering shadows of love on his blind ...
 
  • #14,948
fresh_42 said:
She saw the light on the night that she passed by his window,
she saw the flickering shadows of love on his blind ...
It was one of those nights when you turn off the lights, and every thing comes into you...
 
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  • #14,949
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  • #14,950
nsaspook said:
You're two weeks early: the UK (and the rest of Europe) haven't changed the clocks yet.
 
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  • #14,951
fresh_42 said:
My neighbor called the police yesterday because I was listening to AC/DC too loud.

They arrested him.
Fun fact: Electrical engineers only ever hear the AC part of AC/DC

If AC/DC wanted to stay true to their name they should have made at least a few songs that are completely silent with only a "bump" at the start and one at the end of the song...
 
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  • #14,952
_nc_ohc=TrVhI0DfDo0AX_vjWYN&_nc_ht=scontent-fra5-2.jpg
 
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  • #14,953
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  • #14,954
phinds said:
Would actually have been more accurate if they were ALL accordions :smile:

Here we go. Even the ambiance fits:

 
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  • #14,955
IMG-20230313-WA0045.jpg
 
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  • #14,956
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  • #14,957
_nc_ohc=bxp37pfhbvcAX_ROrOi&_nc_ht=scontent-frt3-2.jpg
 
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  • #14,958
_nc_ohc=6HOG7N2CzUwAX_Joiaa&_nc_ht=scontent-fra3-1.jpg
 
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  • #14,959
Screenshot 2023-03-14 at 8.53.10 AM.png
 
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  • #14,960
_nc_ohc=WhYWMmfk7AgAX-6tRUv&_nc_ht=scontent-fra5-2.jpg
 
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  • #14,961
fresh_42 said:
FYI, Baileys and Coke curdles more or less instantly. A friend ordered a vodka and coke and a Baileys and the bartender was new and got mixed up. The result looked so revolting none of us dared taste it...
 
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  • #14,962
Ibix said:
FYI, Baileys and Coke curdles more or less instantly. A friend ordered a vodka and coke and a Baileys and the bartender was new and got mixed up. The result looked so revolting none of us dared taste it...
I couldn't imagine from which country this picture stems. You can buy Whisky Coke and similar at every gas station in one can over here. Mixing those things isn't even necessary.
 
  • #14,963
fresh_42 said:
I couldn't imagine from which country this picture stems.
I don't recognise the Orange Crush drink in the middle. Wiki says it's distributed in the US, Canada, Syria, Lebanon, and Chile. What I can read of the labels looks English, so my money's on the US or Canada.
 
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  • #14,964
Ibix said:
I don't recognise the Orange Crush drink in the middle. Wiki says it's distributed in the US, Canada, Syria, Lebanon, and Chile. What I can read of the labels looks English, so my money's on the US or Canada.
Don't they have special drug dealers for liquor in the US? I mean, we are talking about a market that forbids Kinder surprise eggs and probably Mon Chéri as we know it. So wouldn't all that soda stuff in a liquor store be just wasted space? That's why I thought it could have been from the UK, but I stumbled upon Crush, too.
 
  • #14,965
Black Velvet is apparently a Canadian whiskey, so I'd lean towards Canada.
 
  • #14,966
Ibix said:
Black Velvet is apparently a Canadian whiskey, so I'd lean towards Canada.

On one occasion, they said that this ...

_nc_ohc=xSyjmN6My_UAX-cPud8&_nc_ht=scontent-fra5-2.jpg


... was taken from Scotland. Would that be correct?
 
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  • #14,967
fresh_42 said:
On one occasion, they said that this ...

View attachment 323624

... was taken from Scotland. Would that be correct?
I've not been to Scotland in something like ten years.

My guess is that if it really is in Scotland it was put up by a private citizen as a joke or some local council as a rather ill-thought-out safety campaign. The graphic style doesn't match British standards for clarity and the colour scheme is wrong, although there seems to be a bit of a fad for ignoring inconvenient things like safety standards in road markings in recent years. It could be anywhere with English as an official language, though.
 
  • #14,968
fresh_42 said:
Don't they have special drug dealers for liquor in the US? I mean, we are talking about a market that forbids Kinder surprise eggs and probably Mon Chéri as we know it. So wouldn't all that soda stuff in a liquor store be just wasted space? That's why I thought it could have been from the UK, but I stumbled upon Crush, too.

Ibix said:
I don't recognise the Orange Crush drink in the middle. Wiki says it's distributed in the US, Canada, Syria, Lebanon, and Chile. What I can read of the labels looks English, so my money's on the US or Canada.

Yes, Orange Crush is is a common orange flavored soft drink (soda pop) in the US. It's been around for awhile, over a hundred years actually. As a matter of fact, the band REM even wrote a song by that name, back in the 1980s.


(There's music in the video, of course, so you'll probably have to watch it on YouTube in a new tab.)
 
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  • #14,969
Ibix said:
I've not been to Scotland in something like ten years.
Doesn't matter. My thought was, if it is Scotland, the probability is high that it had come to your attention by local media or internet feeds. And if it was an official traffic sign, then it would exist in England, too. The picture I first saw this sign (without the text add-on) could well have been in Britain judging by its background. But it was on fb, which means there is no chance of ever finding it again. I usually "like" such memes for that matter, but I didn't "like" it this time.
 
  • #14,970
Screenshot 2023-03-14 at 1.14.13 PM.png
 
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  • #14,971
Ibix said:
I don't recognise the Orange Crush drink in the middle. Wiki says it's distributed in the US, Canada, Syria, Lebanon, and Chile. What I can read of the labels looks English, so my money's on the US or Canada.

Those look like products I'd see at the market here in the U.S. But joined like that? No. And searching the web turns up very little. This was either a made-for-social-media prop or some one off store that thought it could increase sales by selling these combos.
 
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  • #14,974
Ibix said:
I don't recognise the Orange Crush drink in the middle. Wiki says it's distributed in the US, Canada, Syria, Lebanon, and Chile. What I can read of the labels looks English, so my money's on the US or Canada.
Wouldnt the labels of Pepsi, Coca Cola and so on be in English everywhere?
 
  • #14,975
martinbn said:
Wouldnt the labels of Pepsi, Coca Cola and so on be in English everywhere?
I would expect the Crush drink to have a localised version for the flavour, at least.
 
  • #14,976
collinsmark said:
so you'll probably have to watch it on YouTube in a new tab
I don't understand: If I put Orange Crush in a new Tab, will I get a Tab Orange?

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##+##
100px-Tab_can.png
##=##
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##?##​
 
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  • #14,977
berkeman said:
Looks to be a popular sign. From a Google Images search:
I checked it. It is no official sign in Germany although some of these places could well be here.
 
  • #14,978
fresh_42 said:
Don't they have special drug dealers for liquor in the US? I mean, we are talking about a market that forbids Kinder surprise eggs and probably Mon Chéri as we know it. So wouldn't all that soda stuff in a liquor store be just wasted space? That's why I thought it could have been from the UK, but I stumbled upon Crush, too.
In the US, liquor laws vary by state and sometimes by county. When I lived in Virginia, liquor (sprits) was sold only in state-owned stores. In Connecticut, liquor/beer/wine sales stopped at 8:00 PM, and the stores were tightly controlled by an "association" of store owners (-> you had to be one of the "boys" to get a license). In Florida, you could take a half-consumed drink out and drive away ("can I get that in a go-cup, please?) -- try that in Connecticut and the owner would tackle you before you got out, otherwise he'd lose his license. There was a drive -thru convenience store in the Florida Keys where I bought draft beer, it comes in a paper cup with a straw, like a milk shake. When I lived in New Orleans, there were drive-thru daiquiri places. When I moved to Nevada, I noticed the drug stores sold fishing gear, liquor, ammunition and targets, as well as cigarettes, paperbacks, coolers, etc. with the actual pharmacy at the back.
 
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  • #14,979
_nc_ohc=Dn018SnHk1wAX8u8Bnl&_nc_ht=scontent-fra5-2.jpg
 
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  • #14,980
gmax137 said:
In the US, liquor laws vary by state and sometimes by county. When I lived in Virginia, liquor (sprits) was sold only in state-owned stores. In Connecticut, liquor/beer/wine sales stopped at 8:00 PM, and the stores were tightly controlled by an "association" of store owners (-> you had to be one of the "boys" to get a license). In Florida, you could take a half-consumed drink out and drive away ("can I get that in a go-cup, please?) -- try that in Connecticut and the owner would tackle you before you got out, otherwise he'd lose his license. There was a drive -thru convenience store in the Florida Keys where I bought draft beer, it comes in a paper cup with a straw, like a milk shake. When I lived in New Orleans, there were drive-thru daiquiri places. When I moved to Nevada, I noticed the drug stores sold fishing gear, liquor, ammunition and targets, as well as cigarettes, paperbacks, coolers, etc. with the actual pharmacy at the back.
Definitely much more regulated than in Europe, I can just get in a regular store buy myself some snickers, a diet Coke and a ton of vodka, whiskey etc.
The first day your 18, you can just buy boatloads of strong alcohol and every type of tobacco you wish. (Not sure whether in all of EU but definitely here in eastern Europe)
Not necessarily a good thing, although I haven't compared tobacco and alcohol usage in young adults between EU vs US.
 

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