Collection of Lame Jokes

[Lancelot59]

But sometimes they can be positively hilarious.

They are somewhat polar though, they can spin a crowd down if you don't balance things properly.

 

[DaveC426913]

OK, guys. This is 'Lame Jokes' thread, not the 'So Painful I'm Gnawing My Arm Off' thread.

 

[lisab]

 

[DaveC426913]

OK guys, this is the 'Lame Jokes' thread, not the 'lisab Has Amnesia' thread.

https://www.physicsforums.com/showpost.php?p=3627363&postcount=1926 (4 down)

 

[Lancelot59]

OK, guys. This is 'Lame Jokes' thread, not the 'So Painful I'm Gnawing My Arm Off' thread.

He He He...Did you run out of ideas?

 

[QuarkCharmer]

How do sulfur and oxygen communicate?

A sulfone.

 

[lisab]

OK guys, this is the 'Lame Jokes' thread, not the 'lisab Has Amnesia' thread.

https://www.physicsforums.com/showpost.php?p=3627363&postcount=1926 (4 down)

That's because they all argon!

 

[Drakkith]

That's because they all argon!

What did Plutonium say to Uranium when leaving?

Time to split!

 

[Lancelot59]

What did Plutonium say to Uranium when leaving?

Time to split!

Nice one. Also did nobody pick up on what I did in the last post I made?

 

[Drakkith]

Nice one. Also did nobody pick up on what I did in the last post I made?

Can't hear you. Gnawed my own ears off.

 

[DaveC426913]

Nice one. Also did nobody pick up on what I did in the last post I made?

Too subtle for me.

 

[Lancelot59]

Too subtle for me.

Okay then.

He He He...

He

 

[lisab]

Okay then.

He

OH NO!

 

[Lancelot59]

OH NO!

AAAAAAND she gets it.

 

[QuarkCharmer]

You guys are W I Er D.

 

[Andre]

which obviously, is weird

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

If you had to choose between living in the Arctic or the Antarctic, which would be the better choice?

Obviously, the Arctic, because there are no ants that will bite you.

How do sulfur and oxygen communicate?

A sulfone.

What if there's no signal?

 

[QuarkCharmer]

which obviously, is weird

There is a silent C after the W.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Donald Trump is hosting a debate for the Republican party.

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

He

Ba



[xtrachar]

 

[FlexGunship]

Ba

Ba

Black

 

[lisab]

Black

OVINe

 

[FlexGunship]

Ba

Ba

Black

OVINe

Possess

 

[Lancelot59]

I found this amusing:

Oh batman...

 

[FlexGunship]

I found this amusing:

Oh batman...

C-C-C-C-Combo Breaker!

 

[Lancelot59]

C-C-C-C-Combo Breaker!

:C

Now I see what's going on.

 

[turbo]

Right over my head. ALIENS!

 

[DaveC426913]

Number of previous jokes I do not get: 2.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

What do snowmen want for Christmas?

Snowblowers.

 

[DaveC426913]

What did the women reindeer do with their evening while the men helped Santa?

Spoiler

Went into town and blew a few bucks.

 

[Borek]

Finally something I got.

 

[IMP]

A DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher.. He tells the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.”

The rancher says, “Okay, but do not go in that field over there,” as he points out the location.

The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, “Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me.” Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher. “See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish…. On any land.. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand? ”

The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher’s big Santa Gertrudis Bull……
With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he’ll get gored before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified.
The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs…..

“Your badge… Show him your badge!”

 

[Lancelot59]

What do snowmen want for Christmas?

Snowblowers.

Ha! Quite funny.

What did the women reindeer do with their evening while the men helped Santa?

Spoiler

Went into town and blew a few bucks.

I'm going to share these around...

 

[FtlIsAwesome]

What did K say to L?
Hello L.

 

[Borg]

Mmmm, BaCoN.