Conflicted Feelings: Moving On from High School

In summary, moving on from high school can be a time of conflicting emotions for many individuals. While it marks the end of a significant chapter in one's life, it also brings about the excitement and uncertainty of new beginnings. The nostalgia for the past and the fear of the future can create a sense of conflict within oneself. However, it is important to embrace these conflicting feelings and use them as motivation to grow and move forward. Whether it is pursuing higher education, starting a career, or exploring new opportunities, the process of moving on from high school is a natural and necessary part of life.
  • #386
Originally posted by Monique
oh well :)

Yeah Prudens, she's pretty clear that she can't be your gf. But you should not feel so bad that she said that, she seems to have a lot of respect for you.

Only feel bad when a girl is disrespectfull and starts badmouthing you.

I don't know what should I do when I see her in the future... Act like I never knew her? Or act like her friend and be really nice like I do to all my friends? If I do that, she might think I still like her... I don't want to bother her if she doesn't want.


... I'm still thinking why would she deny me... I'm not bad looking, not rude, ... sigh.
 
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  • #387
I don't know what should I do when I see her in the future... Act like I never knew her? Or act like her friend and be really nice like I do to all my friends? If I do that, she might think I still like her... I don't want to bother her if she doesn't want.

If you are still interested in her, don't talk to her from now on, unless she initiates and also go out there and get a girlfriend.
 
  • #388
Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
... I'm still thinking why would she deny me... I'm not bad looking, not rude, ... sigh.
You are still so young, it is just how life works: some connections go on a deeper level than others. Who says it is your fault? Maybe the girl is only interested in guys who are into ballet, you won't know and you don't have to worry.
 
  • #389
Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
I don't know what should I do when I see her in the future... Act like I never knew her? Or act like her friend and be really nice like I do to all my friends? If I do that, she might think I still like her... I don't want to bother her if she doesn't want.
Just act normal like you did before, smile, say hi, talk about the weather and move on. Casual.
 
  • #390
Prudens, I suggest you act more in keeping with the second part of your name, Optimus, as in optimistic.

Either that or get a white horse!

It looks like you didn't take my advice and get down to brass tacks on New Year's Eve with the object of your desire. My suggestions are also applicable to other women. Try it. Or try a white horse pulling the Prius when its battery is low!

Suicide won't work.
 
  • #391
Women I know respect the knight who treats them like a modern lady and gently protects them, at potential risk to his own pride, from society's insults.

My current girlfriend might ask, are you more concerned about appearences (physical or in public) rather than sharing emotional intimacy?
 
  • #393
Originally posted by Monique
Just act normal like you did before, smile, say hi, talk about the weather and move on. Casual.

I hope after 1 year I'll forget that she rejected me and act normal as possible... [b(]
 
  • #394
Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
I hope after 1 year I'll forget that she rejected me and act normal as possible... [b(]
There are worse things that happen. Today it is actually my parents' 27th wedding anniversary
(they haven't even reached 50 yet), it is a blessing since stuff like that don't happen very often if you look around you. Find a girl that likes YOU and hold on to that one, instead of finding the hottie that everyone likes.
 
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  • #395
I hope after 1 year I'll forget that she rejected me and act normal as possible...

You said she has a boyfriend right? If that's the case, then acting normal to her is the worst thing to do. She would have known that you liked her from the start by listening to the way you talk even without you sending that card and yet she mislead you by accepting your invitation instead of rejecting it. She played you for a second fiddle man. So you need to respond in kind.

This stands only if she really has a boyfriend.
 
  • #396
They went to the movie with a group of people, together with her little brother. Not exactly a date.
 
  • #397
They went to the movie with a group of people, together with her little brother. Not exactly a date.

It doesn't matter if it seemed like a date, I'm betting on the idea that she knew his intentions.

But I'm not going to speculate furthur, this won't go anywhere.
 
  • #398
Ok I haven't been keeping up with this saga(as it's become) but I get the gist. Let me give you some good advice, if you really want this girl. here's what you do...

Ignore here. Find a girl that IS interested in you, and wants to date you. Start dating her. She will notice you not noticing her. Plus she will realize what she's been missing when you basically give her the cold shoulder in favor of a girl who you are dating. Women get jealous. A woman who utters the kiss of death "lets just be friends(or at least I think that's what happened) basically doesn'lt see you in that way. If you blow off the friendship and start dating someone else, she'll realize that you're not going to hang around for platonic blue balling, and get with the program. it's that simple. Of course, if you just want to be her friend and watch her date other men in some sort of torturous rigor, by all means continue.

Use my plan. It works. Time tested and proven. There is a slight chance you may loose the friendship, but it sounds like that's the last thing you want anyhow. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

EDIT: ok I read back a little farther.. I'm NOT reading all 34 pages. First of all, offering to pay for her at the movies was NOT trying too hard. I'm not sure how it is in chinese culture, but doing that is practically expected here. So anyways, it sounds like you won't see this girl on daily basis, in which case my advice won't apply. But if you do apply my advice, make sure you also have the right attitude around her. Act like you don't care. In fact, treat her almost badly. Be a little rude and give her the cold shoulder. Whatever you do, don't let her know you care. I know it sounds strange, but we're not in Kansas anymore Toto, we're in the land of women, and none of the rules we know apply. A lot of women LIKE this for some odd reason *shrug* try it out and share the results with us. Trust me, handle it this way, and she'll be begging you to date her. It's not all women, but this type of women who have low self esteem, and try to pretend that no man can hold their attention, because they are really very low in regards to self esteem. So that's my advice. And even if it doesn't work, there are TONS of other women out there(about 3 billion last I checked) so don't worry, it will work out in the end. Good luck!


PS: GO WINGS! DETROIT CITY ROCKS THE HOUSE!
 
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  • #399
Originally posted by rick1138
Having a lot of women as friends is a good move. You can acquire a reputation as a ladie's man quickly with very little work.

I agree. Plus you may end up dating one of your female friend's friends who IS interested in dating you. And having a recommendation from a female goes a LONG way.. especially at that age.
 
  • #400
Originally posted by Adam
We're supposed to be cheering him up? Oops. Sorry.

I was just pointing out that girls speak an entirely different variety of English, and it needs translation.

there is a science available to explain these random patterns of logic. It's called Chaos theory:wink:
 
  • #401
Originally posted by Zantra
Ignore here. Find a girl that IS interested in you, and wants to date you. Start dating her. She will notice you not noticing her. Plus she will realize what she's been missing when you basically give her the cold shoulder in favor of a girl who you are dating. Women get jealous.
Don't listen to Zantra. That is just playing dirty games.

EDIT: ok I read back a little farther.. I'm NOT reading all 34 pages. First of all, offering to pay for her at the movies was NOT trying too hard.
What I've read he WAS trying too hard, giving a card with I love you on a date that isn't a date is trying too hard, giving a card is anyway, unless it is an note hidden in her pocket, which she finds when she comes home and is alone.

..make sure you also have the right attitude around her. Act like you don't care. In fact, treat her almost badly. Be a little rude and give her the cold shoulder.
What kind of women do you date? You sound like the caveman kind, if she still doesn't care you hit her over the head with a wooden stick and drag her into your cave by the hair, right?

PS: GO WINGS! DETROIT CITY ROCKS THE HOUSE!
lol
 
  • #402
Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
I hope after 1 year I'll forget that she rejected me and act normal as possible... [b(]
There are worst things than not getting a gf instantly.. did you really think you can walk up to any girl of your choosing and be settled? It takes two to tango.

To set your perspective straight:

How would you feel to meet the girl of your dreams and feel love at first sight, you become friends and turns out she feels the same for you. For two years you are the closest friends ever, inseparable. After which you find out you'll have to be separated not only by distance, but also by heart.

Sounds bad, right?

How about that you are in love with the girl of your dreams, you get married, and you find out she is pregnant with your first baby.. you'd be on cloud 9 right? How about soon after that she starts having this cold that doesn't go away, one day she has trouble breathing and the doctor tells you she has only a few more months to live.. terminal lung cancer.

You'd feel bad, right?

At the same time she is still carrying the baby and you are faced with either loosing the baby so that she can undergo chemotherapy, which most likely will only extent her life for a month or two. Or continue to carry the baby and let it deliver when it is viable and try to save the mother at that point, which will give her a few more weeks to live.

Sounds really bad, right?

So yeah, you may feel depressed for a few days by not getting the girl which you had your eye on, but it is much easier to move on than in other instances, so keep that in mind.
 
  • #403
Yes, real tragedies.
 
  • #404
Originally posted by Bubonic Plague
You said she has a boyfriend right? If that's the case, then acting normal to her is the worst thing to do. She would have known that you liked her from the start by listening to the way you talk even without you sending that card and yet she mislead you by accepting your invitation instead of rejecting it. She played you for a second fiddle man. So you need to respond in kind.

This stands only if she really has a boyfriend.


Errr, I think I misunderstood somethings. The guy I saw in a picture with her was actually her cousin.
 
  • #405
Originally posted by Monique
Don't listen to Zantra. That is just playing dirty games.

What I've read he WAS trying too hard, giving a card with I love you on a date that isn't a date is trying too hard, giving a card is anyway, unless it is an note hidden in her pocket, which she finds when she comes home and is alone.

What kind of women do you date? You sound like the caveman kind, if she still doesn't care you hit her over the head with a wooden stick and drag her into your cave by the hair, right?

lol


Actually all I wrote in the card was something like this:

"XXXXXX,

Keep in touch, I hope your seasonal cough will go away soon.

email: PrudensOptimum@hotmail.com
AIM: PrudensOptimus

"

But the front cover has a little red heard I think, the card is called "You are Special."

And umm, I think I forgot to leave my name in there :\
 
  • #406
lol i got a mail from her dad
-----------------------------------
Hi Tom,

It was good to meet you, I am sure we will run
into each other again.

Take Care,
-----------------------------------

I never really met him but umm, I think he sat next to me ... didn't really knew that was her daddy at the moment.
 
  • #407
Originally posted by Monique
Don't listen to Zantra. That is just playing dirty games.



No, it's learning how women work and using it to your advantage. There's no decption involved-At least not bad deception. If she wants him, she'll come running.

What I've read he WAS trying too hard, giving a card with I love you on a date that isn't a date is trying too hard, giving a card is anyway, unless it is an note hidden in her pocket, which she finds when she comes home and is alone.

OK you're right. The "I LOVE YOU" was a bit much. Maybe even XXXXX. It still implies "I love you". A simple "I've enjoyed spending time with you" would have been enough. women don't like to be rushed.

What kind of women do you date? You sound like the caveman kind, if she still doesn't care you hit her over the head with a wooden stick and drag her into your cave by the hair, right?

Well I'm not dating 15 year old women, which is exactly what we're talking about here, unless I'm mistaken. They operate a little differently then women my age:wink: The goal is to get the girl. I'm just telling him how he can do it. I make no guarantees that he'll be happy with her once he gets her, but then it's free advice
 
  • #408
Originally posted by Monique
There are worst things than not getting a gf instantly.. did you really think you can walk up to any girl of your choosing and be settled? It takes two to tango.

To set your perspective straight:

How would you feel to meet the girl of your dreams and feel love at first sight, you become friends and turns out she feels the same for you. For two years you are the closest friends ever, inseparable. After which you find out you'll have to be separated not only by distance, but also by heart.

Sounds bad, right?

How about that you are in love with the girl of your dreams, you get married, and you find out she is pregnant with your first baby.. you'd be on cloud 9 right? How about soon after that she starts having this cold that doesn't go away, one day she has trouble breathing and the doctor tells you she has only a few more months to live.. terminal lung cancer.

You'd feel bad, right?

At the same time she is still carrying the baby and you are faced with either loosing the baby so that she can undergo chemotherapy, which most likely will only extent her life for a month or two. Or continue to carry the baby and let it deliver when it is viable and try to save the mother at that point, which will give her a few more weeks to live.

Sounds really bad, right?

So yeah, you may feel depressed for a few days by not getting the girl which you had your eye on, but it is much easier to move on than in other instances, so keep that in mind.

OMG Try not to hit me with that scythe, Grim Reaper. And she could walk outside tomorrow and get flattened by a bus, or they could marry and through some freak coincidence she turns out to be his long lots sister, but that doesn't mean it will happen

Look, if it was meant to be, it will be. We all have a case of unrequited love once or twice in our lifetimes. You will meet other girls who ARE interested in you, and CAN be with you all the time. You're way too young to be lamenting the love of your life. You have about a thousand other girls AT LEAST to meet first.
 
  • #409
Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
lol i got a mail from her dad
-----------------------------------
Hi Tom,

It was good to meet you, I am sure we will run
into each other again.

Take Care,
-----------------------------------

I never really met him but umm, I think he sat next to me ... didn't really knew that was her daddy at the moment.

Hmmm.. I smell chinese culture here. I thought arranged marriages were dead?
 
  • #410
Originally posted by Zantra
I thought arranged marriages were dead?
I know 3 people who got married through arranged marriages, still very alive tradition.

As per the grim reaper, I was just commenting on the way he handles a ´just be friends´ with ´want to suicide´. Yes, the person with the pregnant wife who is dying is a colleague of mine, I can´t imagine having to go through that.. it DOES put things in perspective.
 
  • #411
Originally posted by Zantra
Hmmm.. I smell chinese culture here. I thought arranged marriages were dead?


? What chinese culture? what arranged marriage?
 
  • #412
My first real girlfriend (around age 35!) told me that women could "smell" a man who was "needy" (dependent). I suppose it works the other way around, too. You can be independent as well as close to a woman, without encroaching on her space-time.
 
  • #413
Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
? What chinese culture? what arranged marriage?

I'm sorry, for some reason I thought you were in China. I was thinking of someone else. It's pretty unsual for girl's father to contact a suitor.. heheh
 
  • #414
Originally posted by Zantra
I'm sorry, for some reason I thought you were in China. I was thinking of someone else. It's pretty unsual for girl's father to contact a suitor.. heheh

Umm... I'm not sure if he knows I like his daughter. All I did was ask her out to watch a movie. But umm, sounds creepy, I didn't know that guy was her father... he sat next to me all the time.
 
  • #415
lol, so you were courting the girl with her dad sitting next to you? I have got to give this to you: you have guts! :wink: good thing: apparently he thinks you are the ideal son in law! And the dad of the other dad thought so too!
 
  • #416
Hmmmmm this thread has got amazingly long and i have never bothered to read it so can someone give me a quick run down of what's happened/been said in the past few hundred posts. Did he get the girl?
 
  • #417
Originally posted by Andy
Hmmmmm this thread has got amazingly long and i have never bothered to read it so can someone give me a quick run down of what's happened/been said in the past few hundred posts. Did he get the girl?

Well, I'm on the 3rd girl, met her at a winter conference; although she left me a note saying "I would like to be just FRIENDS; ... I just didn't appreciate you tried so hard.", I still treasure the times I spent with her, watching LOTR III, etc...

Her daddy emailed me saying he is pretty sure he will see me again.

Never knew her father was sitting next to me in conferences all the time... sigh, good thing I didn't, or I would probably freak out.
 
  • #418
Originally posted by Monique
lol, so you were courting the girl with her dad sitting next to you? I have got to give this to you: you have guts! :wink: good thing: apparently he thinks you are the ideal son in law! And the dad of the other dad thought so too!

the dad of the other dad?
 
  • #419
No. But he is learning. He has come a long way already.


lol, so you were courting the girl with her dad sitting next to you? I have got to give this to you: you have guts! good thing: apparently he thinks you are the ideal son in law!

Or else something weird is going on.



Umm... I'm not sure if he knows I like his daughter. All I did was ask her out to watch a movie. But umm, sounds creepy, I didn't know that guy was her father... he sat next to me all the time.

I was thinking the same thing.
 
  • #420
Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
the dad of the other dad?
I meant this dad liked you, and the dad of the other girl :) that's a good thing.

You are really starting to become a playboy, Prudens :wink:
 

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