Conflicted Feelings: Moving On from High School

[amwbonfire]

Long Tale

Hi everyone!

And so begins my tale. I'll keep it really short, for 2 reasons. First of all, there's a hell of a lot I could write about. Secondly, I'm shy. :shy:

Where to start... perhaps the beginning?

I've known this girl for ages now, about 8 years. We've always been close, always been good friends. But only ever that, until... well until about 4 years ago. I started liking her more and more, but I had NO self confidence at all. I was so sure that she was way to good for me and would never consider me as anything but a friend. Luckily, I was wrong... It seemed we both suffered terribly from lack of confidence. We started talking more and more, and over the course of about half a year we started to learn more and more things about each other. One day we were talking about who we liked, dropping hints about who they were but not really saying who. Of course we liked each other, but we were a bit too shy to admit it to each other. (god we were so shy back then, it was really cute :shy: ) It was torture, until a few days later I decided to just go for it, and I told her it was her I liked. I was so sure she didn't feel the same I nearly had a heart attack when she said she liked me.

From there things developed over the course of a few years. We've had our ups and down (more than I can count). We've broken up and gotten back together twice now. And our feelings have become stronger and stronger as time goes on. I love her "to bits", as Bob puts it. She is my life, she makes it all worthwhile. And the best thing about it is she feels the same about me.

There's lots more I can say, but I never realized I'd actually say this much. Reading this thread explained a few things I never realized before. Maybe writing some of this could help someone else?

:shy:


There you go Bob! I wrote some of it down!

 

[amwbonfire]

i was 18 when i had my first kiss, i lost many girls before that because i was too much of a chicken ****, and i still am, and I'm turning 19

Don't worry. Every man in the world gets shy/nervous around girls. And girls, even though they can hide it well, get just as nervous around us. Maybe more.

 

[The Bob]

There you go Bob! I wrote some of it down!

Cheers Andy. It happened the same with me and my girl. We were too shy for 11 months. Finally, she asked me, with the help of one of her friends, and it has been great since then.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[The Bob]

You sound a lot like me. I'm 20, never had a girlfriend, and just had my first kiss a month ago. And I lost her because I was too late to ask her out.

Man, everyone, don't worry about it. I imagined being 24+ before I got the nerve to ask anyone out, let alone kissing. But here I am, 16, and I have kissed. 8 years before I thought. It is just what happens.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[Chrono]

Man, everyone, don't worry about it. I imagined being 24+ before I got the nerve to ask anyone out, let alone kissing. But here I am, 16, and I have kissed. 8 years before I thought. It is just what happens.

I figured I'd be 30 before I'd have my first date.

 

[i_wish_i_was_smart]

Don't worry. Every man in the world gets shy/nervous around girls. And girls, even though they can hide it well, get just as nervous around us. Maybe more.

oh i believe you

 

[amwbonfire]

I figured I'd be 30 before I'd have my first date.

I didn't think I'd ever date. I never, ever believed anyone would want to spend anytime with me.

Why was/is our self-esteem so low?

Finally, she asked me, with the help of one of her friends, and it has been great since then.

What, did she say something like, "Joan? Can you ask Bob out for me?"

I'm not teasing. I'll admit, it's what we sort of did too She told one of her friends that she liked me. Her friend also happened to be my friend, who I had told who I liked to. So this friend knew we both liked each other, but never told either of us... she wanted us to ask each other out by ourselves...

Some help would have been nice though...

 

[amwbonfire]

Man, everyone, don't worry about it. I imagined being 24+ before I got the nerve to ask anyone out, let alone kissing. But here I am, 16, and I have kissed. 8 years before I thought. It is just what happens.

Life never turns out how you think it will, or how you plan it to.

It's crazy.

 

[The Bob]

I figured I'd be 30 before I'd have my first date.

The feeling is mutual.

Life never turns out how you think it will, or how you plan it to.

It's crazy.

I know. It worries me now and again.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[amwbonfire]

I know. It worries me now and again.

Aww, you've got to let life take you by the hand. Sure, you have your ups and downs, but what would happiness be if it weren't balanced by sadness?

Though I agree, life can be scary and unpredictable. It's nice to have someone to share it with...

 

[The Bob]

Aww, you've got to let life take you by the hand. Sure, you have your ups and downs, but what would happiness be if it weren't balanced by sadness?

Though I agree, life can be scary and unpredictable. It's nice to have someone to share it with...

Indeed it is. Indeed it is.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[Chrono]

Why was/is our self-esteem so low?

I don't know, man. But, I tell you, mine is getting better. It's at least ten times better than it was a couple of years ago.

 

[amwbonfire]

Mine too. I used to think I was nothing, but now I realize that to someone, I'm everything.

 

[The Bob]

Mine too. I used to think I was nothing, but now I realize that to someone, I'm everything.

That is the same thing that has not sunk into my head yet. My girlfriend is that someone and she is to me. The problem is that I assumed the relationship would be like when you are in a younger year, e.g. you go out, see each other now and again but most of the time you spend it with your friends. That is the complete opposite. I believe she prefers to be with me than any of her friends. I must admit it is the same here but I find that strange so I need to let the fact she loves me more than she can say sink in.

Actually, I think it might just have done.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[Gza]

If you havin girl problems, I feel bad for you son...I got 99 problems but a b**** ain't one, hit me.

 

[The Bob]

If you havin girl problems, I feel bad for you son...I got 99 problems but a b**** ain't one, hit me.

Who are you indicating that to? If it is me then I am not haveing girl problems. Quite the opposite.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[Gza]

naw, just a random lyric from jay-z.

 

[The Bob]

naw, just a random lyric from jay-z.

Oh right. Sorry man. Hehe

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[amwbonfire]

That is the same thing that has not sunk into my head yet. My girlfriend is that someone and she is to me. The problem is that I assumed the relationship would be like when you are in a younger year, e.g. you go out, see each other now and again but most of the time you spend it with your friends. That is the complete opposite. I believe she prefers to be with me than any of her friends. I must admit it is the same here but I find that strange so I need to let the fact she loves me more than she can say sink in.

Actually, I think it might just have done.

The Bob (2004 ©)

Yeah, it's sunk in for me too... sort of. Most of the time I don't believe some of the beautiful things she says about me. I believe that she feels and see those things in me (just like I see qualities in her she doesn't think she has). It's just kinda hard to see yourself the way the person who adores you does.

I believe she prefers to be with me than any of her friends.

Yeah. My girlfriend and I are best friends. It's great, because we can share everything with each other, and we know so much about each other. It's also great to have someone you love, and can also rely on to talk to whenever you need to.

Life is nice to me.

 

[Chrono]

It's just kinda hard to see yourself the way the person who adores you does.

You're your own worst critic.

 

[The Bob]

Yeah, it's sunk in for me too... sort of. Most of the time I don't believe some of the beautiful things she says about me. I believe that she feels and see those things in me (just like I see qualities in her she doesn't think she has). It's just kinda hard to see yourself the way the person who adores you does.

That is the reason it hasn't sunk in, because I am not used to being wanted and liked and having so many qualities in my told that I never thought I had.

Cheers Andy, my good friend.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[PrudensOptimus]

Hi everyone!

I started reading this thread last night (It's been here a while... almost a year...) and I'm only up to page 14. I don't really have the time to read it all, but I'm getting very curious. What ever happened with the incredibly shy (and VERY clueless) PrudensOptimus? Was he too shy to ask her out, or did he finally do it?

Thanks!

Oh, and Lenin, THANKYOU for deciding to ask out your crush. At least you have some guts... and it only took you about half a page of this thread to do it. Good on ya!

Andrew Wells
AMW Bonfire

Greetings,


I am PrudensOptimus. And thank you for supporting our thread. A little update of me:
The first girl I mentioned now resides in Houston, TX; Moved there 3 months ago.
The Polish girl... still see her every now and then across campus...
And now... a new girl into my sight... She's Korean,. a classification below me. I knew her since middle school. Just then didn't notice her cuteness, now I do lol. Have statistics with her.

More to come, keep tuned by posting.

- Tom

 

[Chrono]

The first girl I mentioned now resides in Houston, TX; Moved there 3 months ago.
The Polish girl... still see her every now and then across campus...
And now... a new girl into my sight... She's Korean,. a classification below me. I knew her since middle school. Just then didn't notice her cuteness, now I do lol. Have statistics with her.

Where in the world have you been?! Oh, wait, you just answered, flirting with the new girl.

I doubt you've read about my recent experience and it's probably best that you haven't or you'd just feel sorry for me. Good luck with the new girl.

 

[PrudensOptimus]

I read some... Sorry? Didn't you say you kissed her at car and stuff?

And no I'm not flirting. I'm 1 year older... Feel like big brother to her since we are the only two Asians around. She's half head shorter anyways :p Just that I noticed how quick she've grown :D

 

[Chrono]

I read some... Sorry? Didn't you say you kissed her at car and stuff?

Yeah, but that was all the good stuff. Afterwards is what you may not want to read.

 

[PrudensOptimus]

If you want to relief some pain, I am available on AIM PrudensOptimus

 

[Evo]

Hey Prudens, where have you been?

 

[Chrono]

Hey Prudens, where have you been?

I still say he was flirting the whole time.

 

[PrudensOptimus]

Hey Prudens, where have you been?

Long story. But now I'm back. Solve some math problems and talk to some old friends.

 

[Pyrrhus]

I was going to write a paper due next Tuesday On Friday 17th, but as i was checking the forums to help some other students figure their math and physics out [I know hard it can be when you're just a newbie at a subject] i saw this topic.. and i started reading... it was very interesting... i couldn't stop myself from reading it all with a on my face (in most the cases ), i must say.

It reminded me a lot that sometimes people give too much though to the situation and fail to realize what's actually happening. Remember, humans are complex, we don't exactly know what each other think when some event happens or how othe human being reacts to a situation, we can just guess... Of course I'm not talking about just ignore the facts, you'll be a fool if you don't analyze them, but remember as in mathematics too much assumptions won't get you to the correct answer.

Good luck all on their dating, and have a blast with dating

 

[catalyst55]

Don't do too many favorus for her. She proabaly knows that you like her and is exploiting you by making you do favours (though she doesn't see it that way -- she's just making her life a little easier).

Bottom line: It's not good to be too nice.

Play hard to get (though not excessively).. Flirt with her... Smile a lot... The subtle signals probably work better than words...

Since she's hot, she knows when guys are flirting with her and probably thinks you like her more than you do (especially since you do favours for her etc).


Just be confident, calm, and collected. Perhaps ask her to do favours for you?

Cheers

 

[Chrono]

Bottom line: It's not good to be too nice.

I learned that the hard way.

 

[jimmy p]

I'm still learning that, sounds like catalyst55 has some good advice!

 

[allanpatrick]

i think u should make her crave u. give her a night she will never forget and the next day, act like you've never seen her before. that wil surely tick her off and try incredibly new ways to catch your attention. works everytime.Ü

 

[Zantra]

treat her like dirt. Ignore here.. flirt with every other girl EXCEPT her. give her backhanded compliments like "I don't care what anyone else says, your nose is beautiful" or "I think it's great that you have the confidence to keep that figure- I wish more women were as self-assured as you are".

This works more often than not-tested and proven-especially on women who are used to a lot of attention I know it sounds contradictory, but the more a woman is used to men falling at her feet, the more perplexed she'll be when you thumb your nose at her. I once had this model telling me she was "impressed that I could resist her because every guy wanted her". I actually laughed outloud when she said that, which ticked her off because at that tender age I'd never met anyone with enough guts to actually say something like that in a serious tone... but I digress..

Of course this isn't the healthy way to do things, but if you just want to grab her interest then generate something from that, it might work...