Conflicted Feelings: Moving On from High School

[The_Professional]

Now why does a self-respecting girl like me raises to the bait again and wants to tell you guys how to win hearts? Ahhhhhhhh must be because of Mr. Professional's irresistable aloofness ! BTW, by aloofness do you mean "mystery", like Johnny Depp?

A little bit of mystery, a little bit of intrigue, a little bit of suspense. I should write a book.

 

[Chrono]

A little bit of mystery, a little bit of intrigue, a little bit of suspense. I should write a book.

You do that. I'll buy it

 

[Chameleon]

Perhaps ignoring her right back, but leaving just a little room open for her to recognise how you feel, not in a manipulative way but in a sincere way. As if your ignoring her right back is a means of looking after your own feelings and an attempt to to not excessively sour your relationship with her. A gentle friendly lure if you will.

 

[franznietzsche]

Odd what you can find just browsing threads...


Anyway i thought i'd throw out my little story as a warning of sorts to others, so here goes:

NEVER get involved with a girl who is not single, either wait until she is, or forget about it.

About seven months ago, this drop dead gorgeous girl I've known for two years AIMs me for no apparent reason(i was not aware she had my sn, though as it turned out i had given it to her at some point a year previously). As i found out alter she messaged me because her boyfriend was being an idiot involving someother girl, and she was feeling pretty badly about herself. Nice guy that i was, i just tried to be a nice friend to her and cheer her up (of course encouraging her to ditch the guy, but no success)

After several months of very long, involved conversations, I began to fall in love with this girl, in retrospect a very big mistake. So after months of flirting (which irritated her boyfriend to no end) i started to get tired of being a 'third weel' so to speak, so i made a move, asked her to senior prom,which her response was "i can't". so i said to heck with it, and me and her fell out for a few weeks and stopped talking, until her boyfriend did something stupid(told her she would never be anything but mammary glands and a face to anyone) and she came running to me...again.

We started spending more time together during the summer...until her boyfriend found out. That night when i last talked to her she got off the phone saying she loved me...two weeks later having not heard from her, i hear from a mutual friend that her boyfriend forbid her from seeing me, and that she was never going to talk to me again.


Moral of the story: never get involved with a girl who is already taken, to quote Nietzsche on this problem:

"The happiness of woman is: he wills. 'Behold, just now the world became perfect!'-thus thinks every woman who obeys out of entire love."

He said 'jump', and she said 'how high honey?'. Never get involved with a girl who already has a boyfriend, until she leaves him first... Thats my half a cent, for what its worth.

 

[The Bob]

Great advice there. So many people fall into that trap. Not wise.

It would have been good for me to post in this thread 2 months ago but not only did I not realize it existed but I got my gal now so I am fine

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[teakajoy]

Oh m'gosh

Talk to her, since I've gotten older I have recently found out that there were a couple of guys who liked me back in the day, but I never knew. Because I was "hot" I spent a lot of Friday nights alone. Or out with jerks. The good guys never even asked me out because they assumed that I wouldn't go or had other plans. So there I sat. Not all the time of course, until I figured out what the problem was and learned I had to make the first move. My daughters have gone through the same thing. If you like her, talk to her. Invite her to have coffee. Dont give up. My oldest daughter is now dating a man that came to her resteraunt 32 nights in a row. He said he would come every night so she could get to know him and go on a date with him. She told him she didnt date strangers. Now they are talking marrige! Always be friendly if she doesn't speak first, you do it! If she does then be sure to reply with a smile. Be funny its a lot more sexy then being buff or cool.

 

[jimmy p]

Dudes and dudettes, what happened to Prudens?

Probably like me, 'n still looking for someone...

 

[Chrono]

I was going to ask the same thing.

I think he's found someone and is spending all his time with her. That's why he's not posting.

 

[franznietzsche]

Not wise.

Unfortunately i didn't listen to that advice while it was happening...rose colored glass and what not. Wasn't until afterwards that i saw everyone else was right. But yeah...not a wise idea...

 

[Tom McCurdy]

Maybe advice for us all would be to actually talk to girls in person rather than discussing them on physicsforum.com

 

[The Bob]

You see people (like me) cannot do that unless it is about maths or science or music or general talk. As soon as the subject goes to dating and that stuff I leave. I can't handle it. Thought I was never going to get a girlfriend. Wonders never stop . But yes you are right. We should talk to them.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[jimmy p]

I don't have much luck talking to women. I never have anything to say really. That is probably the reason.

 

[cookiemonster]

Whenever I get caught with nothing to say, I start making up the most ridiculous, outrageous, and hopefully entertaining responses I can think of. It seems to work, but it really can be a lot of work... And starting off a conversation like that would probably be suicidal.

cookiemonster

 

[Chrono]

Maybe advice for us all would be to actually talk to girls in person rather than discussing them on physicsforum.com

How about we do both and talk to the girls on this forum?

 

[franznietzsche]

Maybe advice for us all would be to actually talk to girls in person rather than discussing them on physicsforum.com

The problem isn't talking to them, that goes just fine. Its finding ones that immediately after they say they love you don't agree never to see you again... bad screening methods really.

 

[The Bob]

How about we do both and talk to the girls on this forum?

Good idea but who was the last woman to post in this thread?

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[Polly]

Me?

Hi Guys, I am back !

 

[balkan]

I never really talked to her very often because I didn't want to "bother" her. But I msged her over AIM and I asked her why did she have to act like she's ignoring me, she said she didn't mean to. (She acts perfectly normal sometimes, saying hi to me in the hall way... but sometimes she just act like she never knew me...)

The first thing she said to me when she saw me at the potluck was "Is Swing here? Is he here? Where is he?" (Swing=guy). From what I know she doesn't go out with him, and he had some weird contagious flu. She kept on talking with him in front of me and my friends, making us look bad or something. Later went to his house and left potluck , I chose not to go because I wanted to worship the Lord(christian potluck).

man this thread is way too long... should have bothered to check when it started...
her response is very natural and comes as no surprise if you have shown some interest but didn't follow through...

roughly, this is how many women punish guys who doesn't act out on the signals they send... most of them doesn't really know they're doing it, others do it intentionally to kick your friggin ass in motion or to show your sorry ass what you could have got if you had some balls... prolly, she knows you're interested and tired of waiting for you to make a move... strangely enough, it doesn't matter whether she's feeling the same way as you, she just want to resolve the situation and get the tension over with...

 

[The Bob]

Me?

Hi Guys, I am back !

Oh hello.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[visitor_g_dhx7]

Dude - don't let her know your jealous

Dear PrudensOptimus,

Women are an alien race of evil mutants from Venus. They thrive on making men feel jealous - let her know this is going on in your head and your done for - fight it - disguise it, this may sound a bit extreme, but what you are going through is war. Absolutely the same tactics are required. Yeah I may sound insane - but listen to me dude - that "all's fair in love and war" idea is profound for a good reason.

Recommended Reading:

"Sun Tzu" - The Art of War, pay particuar attention to this quote:

"All Warfare is deception."

Keep secrets from her. Half finish a really interesting sentence, then pretend to get distracted, make her think, she's into physics, then her mind must love a good mystery - that's what you've got to be - Mysterious. Decieve, lie, make up incredible stories, if this doesn't sound like you, try it anyway, just for the diversity. Half-finish your projection of yourself, and she'll want to fill in the missing pieces in her own time - that's how you get her to think about you, soon you'll be familiar to her, then she'll like you more - but CAUTION - DO NOT LET HER KNOW YOU'RE JEALOUS. She'll Eat you alive.

Good luck, soldier.

Visitor_g_dhx7
(Sci Fi Writer.)

 

[Chrono]

Oh hello.

Doubted me, huh, Bob?

 

[RalphS]

Understanding women is more about understanding yourself. Yes, in todays day and age, what we think of love is actually war. Go back a few centuries ago, and it meant something completely different. I like the old definition better myself.

Usually, men want.

However, women want to be wanted.

Realize that most relationships form on trying to take rather then trying to give. My high school physics teacher once told the class "Men take. Women give."

But it works better when both give. Then you actually build, instead of remaining at neutral. And then you can watch the little flower of love grow everyday.

If you are a true hopeless romantic, give up the thing that means the absolute most to you, and give it to your huny, always, from moment to moment, every day. You'll realize that you won't break without it. If you don't break, it must have never really been part of you, so living without it is no big deal. And then things like respect and courage and strength come in, because you grow beyond into something better.

If you look back, you realize that the bad kids in school were the ones that always had the parents that went dancing and clubbing and drinking and partying. And all the good kids had the most boring parents in the world. More and more people are being mislead about the circus of life.

Email me with more questions: ralph@2d.com

Ralph

 

[The Bob]

Doubted me, huh, Bob?

No No. I just haven't had a read of all of the pages of this thread so I do not know which females post here.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[jimmy p]

Lol, most of us are lonely men...

 

[balkan]

it's all about the attitude, brother you'll figure it out one of these days...

... or die as an old, lonely man

 

[jimmy p]

option number two seems more likely... not lonely though, with snakes!

 

[Chrono]

You know, something interesting happened at work today-aww, I'm not going to bore y'all with my ramblings of my pathetic excuse of a love life.

 

[jimmy p]

No, no, go on, it is probably a better shot than I have, and I love happy stories... mostly!

 

[Polly]

Hi guys, like I said I am back - but from hell.

If starting a romantic relationship is a battle, then keeping it as a going concern must be a trojan war.

My boyfriend of 4 1/4 years standing (4 of those years in a long distance relationship) was to come back to me for good at the beginning of May. Just when I have done all the polishing, dusting, vacuuming and cleaning and washing and was literally holding my breath for the long awaited moment, he disappeared. Stopped calling me and stopped taking my call. His mother kept telling me he is in France having a holiday. I cannot begin to tell you guys how tormented I have been, confused and hurt and sad and didn't know how or what to think. On top of that I was laid off in the third week of his disappearance and my mother was hospitalised a few weeks later. Talk about tough luck. I finally decided that he wanted to break up with me but was too ? to tell me.

Anyway the moral of the story is - if you have a long distance relationship, don't drag it on for over three years, it will start unravelling. Scientists are right as far as I am concerned, romantic love generally lasts about three years.

P.S. Like William Hung said, I have done my best, I have no regret. Deep inside my heart I am still waiting for him. Guess I am too used to waiting for him.

 

[jimmy p]

Hmmm, romantics may last a few years, but true love should last the rest of your life. Alas my parents didnt thinks so, they are splitting up after 23 years. Love is over-rated.

 

[Polly]

Yes I agree with you, true love can never cease loving.

Well, my parents though should have splitted up 23 years ago.

 

[Chrono]

No, no, go on, it is probably a better shot than I have, and I love happy stories... mostly!

Who said it was a happy one?

 

[Polly]

I am okay, reading your posts about skunks and ants and fashion and receipes makes me smile, and it is so good to have loving ladies like Holly and Moonbear around, they are unknowingly therapeutic.

 

[balkan]

P.S. Like William Hung said, I have done my best, I have no regret. Deep inside my heart I am still waiting for him. Guess I am too used to waiting for him.

that is a pattern right there... recognize it as that, and get it the hell out of there, cause you really don't need it... that stunt he pulled should tell you all you need to know about him if you think rationally about it... that is a dip**** thing to do...
do the opposite of waiting for him everytime you get that feeling, and you'll eventually be rid of it... otherwise you'll be wasting a lot of time sitting around either waiting or being miserable, and life is really, really short... remember that

Good nigth Seattle, and good mental health

 

[jimmy p]

Who said it was a happy one?

It's not happy?? Oh well tell anyway, I could do with a good laugh! Nah, we are all here for emotional support.