Conflicted Feelings: Moving On from High School

[PrudensOptimus]

Heh, develop your arm... Go work out would be a better choice.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Carry a Calculus book?

The Calculus I - V book by Stewart weighs at least 20lbs...

No doubt! James Stewart's Calculus gave me the best biceps I've had in my life.
Get the multivariable edition if you really want to increase muscle mass.

 

[Chrono]

Get the multivariable edition if you really want to increase muscle mass.

Sounds like it's worth the price. Can it help develop my chest, too?

 

[kuba]

This was supposed to be a reply to a way earlier post in the thread, BTW.

PrudensOptimus, I think that you're suffering from a mild case of overanalysis. I know since when I was about the same age I suffered from it too. You're trying to outguess her. Don't. She'll probably clearly say that she has other stuff to do, or give whatever other excuse if she doesn't feel like interacting with you at that time. Or even a lamer excuse if she doesn't feel like ever having anything to do with you ]>.

But so far you're really making things harder for yourself by trying to overinterpret everything. Just stay cool, talk to her! Communications is everything, and since you're 15 I guess that you're likely to be inept at reading body language and other under-the-surface signs. I'm almost 30 and if it weren't for my wife I wouldn't have been probably much wiser than you are in that respect :) Do lots of talking. You don't have to go anywhere particular -- if you'll enjoy talking with each other then the school corridor will be as good as any other place I guess. Then going to a "better" place, i.e. a nice park or somesuch will give you an additional "image boost".

Also, consider that a seemingly popular teen-age pastime of going to the movies, especially on first or second date, is quite useless. You're not going to develop a relationship of any kind by sitting quietly in a theatre. You get no interaction unless no one minds you talking during the movie, that is.

As long as you are not too pushy and stay considerate of her having her own schedule, pursuits and interests, you should be doing fine. At least with a reasonable girl, that is.

BTDT wisdom follows. Although it may be a "touchy" subject, I'd suggest not being overly pushy when she has her period. Many women really suffer during those few days. With careful observation, you should be able to figure out when she has one. DON'T mention it, though, and certainly don't ask! Not unless you're far more advanced in a relationship. Certainly don't try to throw a girl into a lake when she has her period. I almost did, and it only occurred to me later why she, a rather playful character, insisted at not being thrown into one. Feel free to have fun on my account now ;)

 

[i_wish_i_was_smart]

ah that damn Stewart book, "Canadian by the way" is the heaviest book I've ever had, i can't lift my back pack after puting that Goliath in there, especialy after I've stuck my laptop too, its giving me back achs and muscle spasms, oh the agony

 

[Xybot]

Logic

1 Figure out what you want.
2 Ask her if she's interested (forget any psychology or tactics, be straight up)
3 depending on 2 move on or move forward

*don't be half hearted or wishy washy

 

[DarkYoung]

Why she does what she does...

Looking back to one of your earlier posts about her talking about another bloke in front of you, it's quite possible that she's a bit shy and she was telling you about her friend because no other topics of conversation sprang to mind. Some people are just name droppers.

Bear in mind, if you've never expressed any overt interest in her, and not spoken to her much, she's far less likely to be trying to make you jealous than to be simply stuck for something to say. Does she know what you're into - you did say that you knew each other a while ago, so reminiscing may be a good opener for conversations, but don't go too heavily down this road as it can get dull.

If she is trying to make you feel jealous, that's a good thing.

Also, I'd disagree with the boys about avoiding the friendship circle. I've been with my boyfriend now for 7 years and we started out as friends. If she's doing physics, then she's probably smart, so intelligent conversation is going to be something she'll enjoy. Plus, having the back up of mutual friends can make asking someone out easier - if they like both of you and are not interested in her (or you) themselves, they can help arrange opportunities and put in a good word, plus deter her from poor alternate candidates of the screw-em-and-screw-em-up variety.

Aside from that, chill out. Stop for brief chats occasionally, and try not to read into things she says or does - that can lead to confrontations that are mis-founded and generally classified as "creepy".

When you feel relaxed and confident talking to her, and aren't struggling to think of something to say, and a lot of mutual laughter is taking place, then that's the right time to ask her out on a date. She might not say yes, as 15 is a weird time to be a girl, but at least you've asked and all ghosts are put to rest. You have to be angry with someone to become contemptuous, and you aren't really over someone until you've gone through contempt and out the other side.

***SPOILER WARNING***

Big Secret:

Certainly for myself and most of my female friends, the guy that a girl spends ages complaining to about her current boyfriend or how all men are swine, is the guy she has a crush on.

***SPOLIER OVER***

Anyway, that's my opinion. Good luck, though.

 

[i_wish_i_was_smart]

Big Secret:

Certainly for myself and most of my female friends, the guy that a girl spends ages complaining to about her current boyfriend or how all men are swine, is the guy she has a crush on.

***SPOLIER OVER***

HOLY MOLY all my girl friends complain about there boyfrieds to me, they have always done that's but none of them EVER showed any interest in me, as soon as they got out of one relationship they hoped into another, sheesh

 

[Chrono]

HOLY MOLY all my girl friends complain about there boyfrieds to me, they have always done that's but none of them EVER showed any interest in me, as soon as they got out of one relationship they hoped into another, sheesh

You know what, I believe I have that same "problem". They keep going on about how much their boyfriends are losers. Of course, I always wonder why they go out with them even though they know they're losers, or at least think they are. I thought girls didn't like guys like that.

 

[i_wish_i_was_smart]

You know what, I believe I have that same "problem". They keep going on about how much their boyfriends are losers. Of course, I always wonder why they go out with them even though they know they're losers, or at least think they are. I thought girls didn't like guys like that.

me too, i was always secretly thinking in my head " SO WHY DONT YOU DUMP THE BASTARD AND GET SOMEONE DECENT" i mean it don't have to be me but quit *****in to me about it and do nothing to correct it. but NOOOOOOOOO they rather liver in misery, their choice

 

[Chrono]

me too, i was always secretly thinking in my head " SO WHY DONT YOU DUMP THE BASTARD AND GET SOMEONE DECENT" i mean it don't have to be me but quit *****in to me about it and do nothing to correct it. but NOOOOOOOOO they rather liver in misery, their choice

I know, man. I'm going to do that next time a girl does that to me.

 

[Evo]

***SPOILER WARNING***

Big Secret:

Certainly for myself and most of my female friends, the guy that a girl spends ages complaining to about her current boyfriend or how all men are swine, is the guy she has a crush on.

***SPOLIER OVER***

Anyway, that's my opinion. Good luck, though.

Hmmmm, I have to say that I never did that. If I didn't think a guy was right for me, I didn't go out with him, I certainly wouldn't continue to go out with a guy I didn't like and then whine to some other guy about it. Sorry, I just don't agree with this.

 

[Chronos]

Maybe she just didn't like you. Consider that as a possibility. No accounting for taste. I have met many girls who did not like me. I just cuss them for being stupid and I fall asleep. How hard is that? When I woke up in the morning, I was still me.

 

[Chrono]

Maybe she just didn't like you. Consider that as a possibility. No accounting for taste. I have met many girls who did not like me. I just cuss them for being stupid and I fall asleep. How hard is that? When I woke up in the morning, I was still me.

True. But, if you like for people to like you it can be a bit hard. Personally, if I know a girl already, I'd like for her to like me, and I don't mean for a relationship. But, if I didn't know her that well, I could care less. Chances are I'd even see them again anyway.

 

[PrudensOptimus]

No doubt! James Stewart's Calculus gave me the best biceps I've had in my life.
Get the multivariable edition if you really want to increase muscle mass.

I - V is multivariable... Always has been.

 

[Math Is Hard]

the weight of knowledge

I - V is multivariable... Always has been.

Mine is just called "5e". It spans single and multivariable. I just weighed it on my bathroom scale -- it is 8 lbs if you include the solutions manual. By comparison, my stats text is 1.5 lbs, and my chem book is a puny 0.5 lbs (softcover). My philosophy book doesn't even budge the scale needle!

but I digress.. now back to more Girl Trouble!

 

[jimmy p]

ooh girl trouble...

Last night I was out with some friends and stuff. Anyway there was a nice girl there, and she was giving all the come-on signs, and I wasnt be unobvious myself. But then she just grabs some random bloke who walked past and just got with him instead. It was most odd.

I'm out of luck :sad:

 

[Chrono]

I'm out of luck :sad:

At least you've had some, unlike me who's had none.

 

[jimmy p]

At least you've had some, unlike me who's had none.

Luck for me means that a girl will look in my general direction. Dont be so hard on yourself lol.

 

[BobG]

I think the best cover up for this comes from a comdy sketch by Billy Connolly. Simple stand up and shout that you have your 'buddy' standing up and then everyone else will be embarrased and not look. Works a charm, I know because my friend does it all the time and I have got used to it but everyone else looks horrified. It is hilarious.

The Bob (2004 ©)

I've never understood why some people have to advertise their private matters. Back in my home town, I used to shake my head every time I drove by a certain billboard. Some guy was so insecure he put up a sign over some factory that read "Stanley's Tool Works". Sheesh.

 

[PrudensOptimus]

ooh girl trouble...

Last night I was out with some friends and stuff. Anyway there was a nice girl there, and she was giving all the come-on signs, and I wasnt be unobvious myself. But then she just grabs some random bloke who walked past and just got with him instead. It was most odd.

I'm out of luck :sad:

Grabbed randomly? Sounds to me what you have just described there must be a sluttish coquette, ja?

 

[Chrono]

Grabbed randomly? Sounds to me what you have just described there must be a sluttish coquette, ja?

Ja, I agree.

 

[bjon-07]

If love is chemistry,
and sex is physics,
why aren't hard scienc majors good at relationships?

 

[graphic7]

There's times where I really despise my ex. She just put a pic up on her MSN profile with some guy. There's also times where I want to beat her with a meter stick.

 

[Bad_Boy_Blue]

Who needs girls when you've got a completely functional right hand?

 

[Chrono]

If love is chemistry,
and sex is physics,
why aren't hard scienc majors good at relationships?

That kind of screws us math majors, doesn't it?

 

[The Bob]

Who needs girls when you've got a completely functional right hand?

Are you suggesting something?

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[jimmy p]

I've never understood why some people have to advertise their private matters. Back in my home town, I used to shake my head every time I drove by a certain billboard. Some guy was so insecure he put up a sign over some factory that read "Stanley's Tool Works". Sheesh.

Damn, why did I have to read that twice to get it??

 

[The Bob]

Damn, why did I have to read that twice to get it??

I am glad you do because I don't.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[Chrono]

Damn, why did I have to read that twice to get it??

I read it three and a half times before I got it.

 

[PrudensOptimus]

If love is chemistry,
and sex is physics,
why aren't hard scienc majors good at relationships?

Quantum Physics...

 

[The Bob]

Just one thing I want to ask, I mean how many times have I answered others questions it is my turn.

I was wondering what you all thought on this:

Lets imagine you want to get your girlfriend/boyfriend a really meaningful present. Let's say you buy it and it cost £10 but it does mean the world to the other person, is it then wrong to then get your girlfriend/boyfriend a gift that is more expensive than the one that means more to teh other person?

I have thought about it and think it is alright, imagine a house and a necklace: the house is more expensive but the necklace is more likely to be more important to the person who owns it.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[The Bob]

Thanks for caring people. I ask one simple question that might take 3 seconds to reply to and I get nothing. Thanks a lot.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[Chrono]

Thanks for caring people.

We do our best, Bob.

 

[Math Is Hard]

The Bob, if you buy me a house, I'll be your girlfriend