Conflicted Feelings: Moving On from High School

In summary, moving on from high school can be a time of conflicting emotions for many individuals. While it marks the end of a significant chapter in one's life, it also brings about the excitement and uncertainty of new beginnings. The nostalgia for the past and the fear of the future can create a sense of conflict within oneself. However, it is important to embrace these conflicting feelings and use them as motivation to grow and move forward. Whether it is pursuing higher education, starting a career, or exploring new opportunities, the process of moving on from high school is a natural and necessary part of life.
  • #36
She talks to you right? That must mean she likes you as a person, how did you get her AIM number?

You should just create a natural environment where you can ask her out for a date, as I said, get a one-on-one drink with her, discuss some common interests, the latest movies in the theater, ask her if she has seen one in particular yet, you have heard it is a great movie, no? ask her to go see it with you. If she says no and won't reschudule, safe your face by kindly saying 'I guess I have to go with Tom then' (or other friends name).

This is just a scenario, do not study it before you talk to her, it will look unnatural, actually the more you think of it and wait the smaller your chances get. You are on your own boy.
 
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  • #37
Originally posted by Monique
She talks to you right? That must mean she likes you as a person, how did you get her AIM number?

You should just create a natural environment where you can ask her out for a date, as I said, get a one-on-one drink with her, discuss some common interests, the latest movies in the theater, ask her if she has seen one in particular yet, you have heard it is a great movie, no? ask her to go see it with you. If she says no and won't reschudule, safe your face by kindly saying 'I guess I have to go with Tom then' (or other friends name).

This is just a scenario, do not study it before you talk to her, it will look unnatural, actually the more you think of it and wait the smaller your chances get. You are on your own boy.

She asked some of my friends for my AIM name I guess, one day I just got a msg from an annonomous, and it was her.
 
  • #38
sweet dude
 
  • #39
Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
She asked some of my friends for my AIM name I guess, one day I just got a msg from an annonomous, and it was her.
What are you waiting for then [?] are you [zz)] [?]
 
  • #40
But everytime when I see her(approaching her),... I feel like she's either shy or try to talk to her friend... boy girl whatever,.. she would try to ignore me or something. If that is the case, I really don't want to "bother" her.
 
  • #41
She might want to be bothered!
 
  • #42
Trust me she is shy. The best way to approach shy girls is similar the way a shark attacks its victim. A shark never completes its attack in one go, it attacks its victim in stages: first it will bite, then move away, and watch from a distance as the victim softens up, then moves in again to bite again, etc. What you have to do is approach her in stages. First you will have to ask her out on a date - most likely she will reject you the first time, so just blow it off, say something like, "maybe another time", but don't confront her or ask her to explain herself, above all don't put any pressure on her. If she tells you she has no romantic interest in you respect that and move on, otherwisde,continue your friendship as before. She may avoid you for a few days, don't panic, this is normal. Wait for another chance, invite her casually for cofee, something that is low pressure, then establish the relationship bit by bit.
 
  • #43
Originally posted by rick1138
Trust me she is shy. The best way to approach shy girls is similar the way a shark attacks its victim. A shark never completes its attack in one go, it attacks its victim in stages: first it will bite, then move away, and watch from a distance as the victim softens up, then moves in again to bite again, etc. What you have to do is approach her in stages. First you will have to ask her out on a date - most likely she will reject you the first time, so just blow it off, say something like, "maybe another time", but don't confront her or ask her to explain herself, above all don't put any pressure on her. If she tells you she has no romantic interest in you respect that and move on, otherwisde,continue your friendship as before. She may avoid you for a few days, don't panic, this is normal. Wait for another chance, invite her casually for cofee, something that is low pressure, then establish the relationship bit by bit.

:\ Sounds pretty complex for a guy like me. I never gone on a date before, and dating sounds old... I'm only 15 man. btw, she's 16:\ but in the same grade.


She might want to be bothered!

Bah,... maybe, but I think she's avoiding me
 
  • #44
Or, she might have the urge to stare at you as you walk by, but she doesn't want to look silly, so she's overcompensating by pretending she didn't notice you, secretly hoping that you'll say something to her!
 
  • #45
Originally posted by Hurkyl
Or, she might have the urge to stare at you as you walk by, but she doesn't want to look silly, so she's overcompensating by pretending she didn't notice you, secretly hoping that you'll say something to her!

yea, i had that feeling too everytime i walk by her... whenever she's quite and nobody else is around her, she would just pretend either she saw me and say hi, or just pretend i wasn't there... but when if I say hi to her, she would be like "hi" and getting excited... totally weird... not to mention that she ignores me when she can talk to someone near her.
 
  • #46
yea, i had that feeling too everytime i walk by her... whenever she's quite and nobody else is around her, she would just pretend either she saw me and say hi, or just pretend i wasn't there... but when if I say hi to her, she would be like "hi" and getting excited... totally weird... not to mention that she ignores me when she can talk to someone near her.


She definitely likes you to some degree, like I said before she is shy, and shy girls are the most difficult to pursue, but also the ones that are most worth pursuing. Like I said the best thing to do is to ask her out. There are two options:

1. Approach her and ask her out to the movies or a school dance or something like that. You are most likely to get rejected doing it this way, but remember that rejection is often temporary. It is important to establish that your interest is romantic.

2. On your way out of school, if you happen to run into her, start a conversation, and then do something like say "I'm hungry
..., hey ,would you like to go get something to eat. This is actually very easy to pull off, and it is a good way to get to know someone in a low pressure setting. The downside of this method is that you have not established that your interest is romantic, so the best thing to do is:


Combine method 1 with 2 - go with 2 first , then once you have a conversation going ask her out. An indirect method is always better than one that is direct. Don't ask her directly to go to the movies, first bring up movies that you have seen, and get her to talk about movies that she likes, then mention some movies that are coming, and once her eyes light up at the mention of a movie, then invite her to that. A big movie that is coming soon is the last Lord of the Rings, ask her about that, if she likes it, invite her to go with you, if she hates it, think of so, bring up something else, keep going until you mention something that excites her. If she hates movies, change the subject, talk about music - I have met only one woman in my life who hated music.

Remember, always keep an eye on how she is reacting, think about her feelings, don't worry about feeling uncomfortable or rejected, it is very unlikely that she is noticing these things at all.
 
  • #47
Originally posted by rick1138
She definitely likes you to some degree, like I said before she is shy, and shy girls are the most difficult to pursue, but also the ones that are most worth pursuing. Like I said the best thing to do is to ask her out. There are two options:

1. Approach her and ask her out to the movies or a school dance or something like that. You are most likely to get rejected doing it this way, but remember that rejection is often temporary. It is important to establish that your interest is romantic.

2. On your way out of school, if you happen to run into her, start a conversation, and then do something like say "I'm hungry
..., hey ,would you like to go get something to eat. This is actually very easy to pull off, and it is a good way to get to know someone in a low pressure setting. The downside of this method is that you have not established that your interest is romantic, so the best thing to do is:


Combine method 1 with 2 - go with 2 first , then once you have a conversation going ask her out. An indirect method is always better than one that is direct. Don't ask her directly to go to the movies, first bring up movies that you have seen, and get her to talk about movies that she likes, then mention some movies that are coming, and once her eyes light up at the mention of a movie, then invite her to that. A big movie that is coming soon is the last Lord of the Rings, ask her about that, if she likes it, invite her to go with you, if she hates it, think of so, bring up something else, keep going until you mention something that excites her. If she hates movies, change the subject, talk about music - I have met only one woman in my life who hated music.

Remember, always keep an eye on how she is reacting, think about her feelings, don't worry about feeling uncomfortable or rejected, it is very unlikely that she is noticing these things at all.


:\ how would I bring her out to get a "drink"? afterall, it isn't legal for me to drive yet, and ... not legal for drinking ...
 
  • #48
Last time I checked cofee was a drink.
 
  • #49
Gentlemen, you are overanalyzing this too much. Just, dare I say it, "grab your balls" and act.
Coffee/drinks (a short activity) is a good idea, enough time to establish yourself, and enough time to 'feel her out'. If you realize that she isn't for you, you can always get out of a coffee date quickly. And a bonus: you don't waste any money, what's better than that!?
 
  • #50
:\ Dating game sucks. [b(]
 
  • #51
Take off those rosy sunglasses and you will see that, for the majority of us, the natural process of seduction has become a battlefield of the mind. Seriously, take a good look around you and witness a new generation of introverted cowards who shyt their pants at the mere thought of approaching an attractive woman. Watching some of these guys in action, you'd swear that they were facing heavy enemy fire while running across a field of landmines, rather than talking to a soft, harmless girl!

Yes my people, Generation Chump is in full effect! If you doubt my words really think about the guys you know. My acquaintances tally up to about 1 Real Man out of 10 frustrated boys. That's 10%, yall! Make no mistake, in this age of intellectual castration it is war that we wage! Not against females, but against the social programming that stifles our true nature and sexuality.

Think I am over-reacting? Pffffft! Have you been to the movies in the last few decades? Have you paid attention to the crap that is played on the radio?

Love is The Message
Really listen to the ideas you are being fed while you are "entertained". You will see that the same message is repeated over and over, shameless as any propaganda.

"Find your true love...your SOUL MATE...that one person who completes you and you will live happily ever after"

And so everyone scrambles to find their other half with the expectations of a Hollywood reality only to find out that they were chasing a mirage. What a cunning deception! So romantic and appealing that we CHOOSE to stay blind to the truth. Lift the veil of lies and you will see that when you seek happiness and "completion" from someone else, you are just setting yourself up for failure and heart-break!

Then what happens? Your relationship and entire world falls apart, and you are shocked, no DEVASTATED! How can this be? "Woe is me!" Then the dust settles and you think to yourself "Oh damn, I guess she WASN'T my soul mate after all, but hey check THIS girl out. She seems special. Yup she's different!" And so we chase the illusion over and over in a vicious cycle until time quietly slips past us like a thief in the night...

PrudensOptimus, I am not targeting you with that message, however, I think it's something you need to think about. The "dating game" doesn't suck, your just new to it. Keep working at it, take the chances and GET rejected.

I use to fear rejection. If I crashed and burned I would be devestated for days. I had to work at it until I got to a point where it no longer mattered. I'll admit, I get rejected about 3 times out of every 10 girls I approach, but you know what, it feels good! Now, after walking away from a rejection, I am usually holding in laughter. LAUGHTER = FREEDOM.

My advice: work on your 'game'. Your 15, your never to young to start, and never to young to improve. Take a chance with this girl, but realize that if it doesn't work out, you can always move on. There isn't ONE perfect girl out there for you, there are MANY!

Good luck!
 
  • #52
OK, I just asked her if she's going to the Thanksgiving Feast, and she said "i don't think so."

that really pisses me off. She said not unless her parents make her...

But I bet you more than 70% she would show up... I asked her last time if she's going to the potluck, she said she have something else to do, ... turned out she was there before i got there.
 
  • #53
Originally posted by PrudensOptimus
OK, I just asked her if she's going to the Thanksgiving Feast, and she said "i don't think so."

that really pisses me off. She said not unless her parents make her...
Thanksgiving Feast.. you have to come up better than that.
 
  • #54
If you want to win big, you got to play big. Tell her you're interested in her as more than a friend, and you want to date her. You may loose the friendship, but it's better than torturing yourself. Besides, you said she used to like you. Make a play. Gotta roll the dice. It's either that or 5 more pages of THIS stuff.
 
  • #55
Originally posted by rick1138
Trust me she is shy. The best way to approach shy girls is similar the way a shark attacks its victim. A shark never completes its attack in one go, it attacks its victim in stages: first it will bite, then move away, and watch from a distance as the victim softens up, then moves in again to bite again, etc. What you have to do is approach her in stages. First you will have to ask her out on a date - most likely she will reject you the first time, so just blow it off, say something like, "maybe another time", but don't confront her or ask her to explain herself, above all don't put any pressure on her. If she tells you she has no romantic interest in you respect that and move on, otherwisde,continue your friendship as before. She may avoid you for a few days, don't panic, this is normal. Wait for another chance, invite her casually for cofee, something that is low pressure, then establish the relationship bit by bit.


are sharks shy too? maybe they have trouble with dating as well


I have to agree with Rook, i have always taken an active interest in women, however always lucked out until i was 18, and finally i have had my first girlfriend. The problem now is that girls start liking you after that (you know, want what they can't have) and that gets annoying, especially when a girl who didnt show interest suddenly wants to have your children lol.

Ooh ooh laughter... do you make her laugh? if not, try brush up on some good jokes. worked for me and 2 of my friends! (and of course, our amazing good looks )
 
  • #56
Girls...

My last girlfriend dumped me three times. I said yes each time she came back because I was nuts about her. The third time, it was quits for good. Several months later she contacted me, and we talked a bit, and it turned out everything she had ever said to me was a lie. Every single word.

So, there's this girl I kinda like now. She's quite nifty. Then this afternoon she reveals that a lot of stuff she told me about herself is pure crap.

I have a supernatural ability to attract liars.
 
  • #57


Originally posted by Adam
My last girlfriend dumped me three times. I said yes each time she came back because I was nuts about her. The third time, it was quits for good. Several months later she contacted me, and we talked a bit, and it turned out everything she had ever said to me was a lie. Every single word.

So, there's this girl I kinda like now. She's quite nifty. Then this afternoon she reveals that a lot of stuff she told me about herself is pure crap.

I have a supernatural ability to attract liars.


oh my god, what did she lie to you about.


and :\ every word I say, she laughs, or smiles, she laughs a lot. [b(]


and I haven't find out if she has bf or not, so I can't just say anything to her yet.
 
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  • #58
There was this incredibly cute blonde guy (normally I only fall for brown hair) sitting in the subway, for the second time now.. incredibly long lashes and studying to be a doctor.. *sigh*
 
  • #59
Originally posted by Monique
There was this incredibly cute blonde guy (normally I only fall for brown hair) sitting in the subway, for the second time now.. incredibly long lashes and studying to be a doctor.. *sigh*

What's wrong? Doctors are very respected here in America.
 
  • #60
*rolls eyes* you really must be clueless..
every heard of a longing sight?
 
  • #61
Btw, another special thing about this girl is that in her AIM Profile, she always write something in the very bottom... so you have to scroll all the way down before read something.

this is her profile for today:

Benjamin Mckenzie is sooOooooo hot!

and then sometime she would write "I miss you babe!" in her profile, ... sounds like she's saying it to her bf... Man, girls are so weird.
 
  • #62
Well, you won't know unless you ask, so.

Do people still ask a girl's friends if she has a boyfriend?
 
  • #63
Originally posted by Hurkyl
Well, you won't know unless you ask, so.

Do people still ask a girl's friends if she has a boyfriend?


:Dd GOOD IDEA! I'm going to go ask claire on monday.
 
  • #64
finally some incentive..
 
  • #65
Originally posted by Monique
finally some incentive..

But what if claire tells her about it??
 
  • #66
*lost patience*

I'd start saving money for cats now..
 
  • #67
omg... just msged an old friend on AIM... he told me she asked him for my phone number a long time ago...
 
  • #68
You are overthinking this.

Just ask her out for a date.
 
  • #69
Yep, just ask her out. The worst she can say is "No". Well, actually, she could say a lot worse than that. But the result will be the same. It's got to be better than sitting there fretting.

Of course, I would probably not take my own advice. I'm ridiculously shy around women, which is why my last two girlfriends asked me out; they got sick of waiting for me to ask them.
 
  • #70
Originally posted by iansmith
You are overthinking this.

Just ask her out for a date.


what if she says no? :\ that would suck a lot.
 

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