Conflicted Feelings: Moving On from High School

[The Bob]

The Bob, if you buy me a house, I'll be your girlfriend

It was purely an example, and I don't think I can afford it, and I was annoyed yesterday.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[Math Is Hard]

It was purely an example, and I don't think I can afford it, and I was annoyed yesterday.The Bob (2004 ©)

So, The Bob, are you contemplating buying a gift for a girl friend? Is that what this is about?

 

[The Bob]

So, The Bob, are you contemplating buying a gift for a girl friend? Is that what this is about?

I am and I know what I think. I was just wondering what others thought. That was all. Never mind. Obviously not important.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[Chrono]

and I was annoyed yesterday.

What'd we do?

 

[The Bob]

What'd we do?

You lot did nothing, it was some news I got and I didn't get any information from this site, and it has never let me down before so I was even more annoyed.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[Tsu]

Shoot, Bob. I'm sorry if we made you feel uncared for. We LOVE you man! REALLY! I was going to respond yesterday when I read it, but I wanted some time to think about this one, because there are many aspects to it, but they KICKED MY BUTT at work last night, so I didn't back into GD before now.

The answer really depends on the kind of girl she is, you know what it mean? but, if I were your GF and you got me a really meaningful gift, the cost would not matter one bit. However, if you think you'd like to do something more, how about taking her out for a REAL nice, romantic dinner? THOSE are very meaningful, too!

 

[The Bob]

Shoot, Bob. I'm sorry if we made you feel uncared for. We LOVE you man! REALLY! I was going to respond yesterday when I read it, but I wanted some time to think about this one, because there are many aspects to it, but they KICKED MY BUTT at work last night, so I didn't back into GD before now.

Don't worry about it. I was just in a bad mood. Sorry.

The answer really depends on the kind of girl she is, you know what it mean? but, if I were your GF and you got me a really meaningful gift, the cost would not matter one bit. However, if you think you'd like to do something more, how about taking her out for a REAL nice, romantic dinner? THOSE are very meaningful, too!

I know that that would be meaningful but I can't because we will be away together with a lot of other people. We will be going to dinner and getting dressed up and that is when I want to give here a 6 months present. She already has a ring from me that she says 'She will never, ever take off' and she hasn't. What I am asking is if I get here a more expensive present, would it become more meaningful, because I don't want it to be.

Cheers Tsu.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[Tsu]

I'm sure it won't become MORE meaningful, but it WILL become meaningful in it's own way (especially if it's a 6 month anniversary gift ).

 

[The Bob]

I'm sure it won't become MORE meaningful, but it WILL become meaningful in it's own way (especially if it's a 6 month anniversary gift ).

That is what I thought. I just needed some more opinions on the subject.

Cheers Aunt.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[Chrono]

That is what I thought. I just needed some more opinions on the subject.

Feeling better now, Bob?

 

[The Bob]

Feeling better now, Bob?

Yes, thank you.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[Chrono]

Yes, thank you.

Good. Now, let's bring back the girl trouble. Oh, wait, that was my job.

 

[jimmy p]

If you have read my journal you will find that there is a girl I like who may show interest in me. I asked her friend what she (the girl I like) thought of me. The answer was "When I ask her about you or say your name she goes all giggly and a bit red! Well sweet."

Does she like me or is she deeply embarrassed to know me?

 

[Chrono]

Does she like me or is she deeply embarrassed to know me?

Personally, Jimmy, I'd be deeply embarrassed to know you. But that's just me.

 

[BoulderHead]

So, can someone following this thread update me as to how many members have improved their game following the advice given?
(you need not reply with an exact number, I'm only asking if you could).

 

[Chrono]

So, can someone following this thread update me as to how many members have improved their game following the advice given?
(you need not reply with an exact number, I'm only asking if you could).

Personally, not really. However, I do know to come here if I ever need sympathy after being dumped unjustly. :shy:

 

[Tsu]

If you have read my journal you will find that there is a girl I like who may show interest in me. I asked her friend what she (the girl I like) thought of me. The answer was "When I ask her about you or say your name she goes all giggly and a bit red! Well sweet."

Does she like me or is she deeply embarrassed to know me?

SHE LIKES YOU! ASK HER OUT!

 

[Tsu]

I'd like to know how enigma is doing with his girl? Any luck enigma?

 

[Math Is Hard]

oh yeah - hey Enigma! What gives??!?? We want an update!

 

[jimmy p]

SHE LIKES YOU! ASK HER OUT!

Well... as a matter of fact... I did... and she said yes. We have been on a "date" to the pub and things are looking very good at the moment, we plan to meet up on Thursday and we have been talking loads. She is hot.. Andy has seen her. Wish me luck!

 

[enigma]

oh yeah - hey Enigma! What gives??!?? We want an update!

Ugh... I had hoped everyone would forget and I could return to annonymity.

I don't really know what's going on... all I know is that I don't like it much.

So, she called and we made plans to "go out". My best friend and his wife had just finished remodeling their home and he - being the lush that he is - had bought a beer making kit (to go along with the full bar he put in). So they threw a housewarming / beermaking party. We went there, made some beer, drank some beer, watched a movie, drank some more beer. A good time was had by all. After several hours, I walked her back to her car, she hugged me goodbye, and left. That was it.

Similar situation the week after that. Spent some time with friends. Hug goodbye.

I'm not exactly thrilled about the situation, but I'm willing to play along for a while longer. We do talk once or twice a week, although never for more than 15 or 20 minutes. She calls me more often than I call her. I don't know how much contact she wants, so I'd rather leave the ball in her court.

I'm more than willing to be a gentleman. I can spend time with a girl without pressuring to do anything she's not ready for. I can go on a date without PDA or touching. What I don't think I can do is keep up the "keep the boy at arm's length all the time" thing that's been going on. I did that for a year or more with the ex (don't know when it started... just realized a year ago). All I know is I don't like it.

I'm going to play along for another week or two. If nothing changes, I'll bring up my concerns.

To make matters worse, I went over to the ex's place last Friday. I needed to get some things, and I was feeling crappy that I hadn't called her at all. She wanted to... erm... "have relations"

Not. Having. Any. Of. That.

 

[Chrono]

Dang, Enigma. Hope every goes well for you, there.

By the way, I've realized that there is an Axe effect. Maybe that will help?

 

[DarkYoung]

J...is it then wrong to then get your girlfriend/boyfriend a gift that is more expensive than the one that means more to the other person?...

Of course not. In any long enough relationship, you're always going to hit the "perfect gift threshold" at some point, after which all occassions become this seething nightmare of trying to live up to what you got them last time. Large spends give you the scope to make a different kind of impression - that of what you were prepared to give up to buy it.

 

[DarkYoung]

...Similar situation the week after that. Spent some time with friends. Hug goodbye.

I'm not exactly thrilled about the situation, but I'm willing to play along for a while longer...

Go out just the two of you, not with friends.

 

[enigma]

Go out just the two of you, not with friends.

That was what caused the initial freak-out to begin with, unfortunately.

 

[BobG]

I feel guilty. So many with girl problems and the only thing I could contribute was a lame joke. I must make amends.

Maybe it would help to get your face out of the books for awhile and find out what women really want. It's no great mystery.

Women want a man who can dilate his eyes at will!

Women are very much into that communication thing we've heard so much about and nonverbal communication is the most effective type of communication there is. This is something you insctinctively know, even if you haven't quite put it into words.

Nonverbal communication conveys over 80% of the meaning transferred between two people (http://www.ciadvertising.org/studies/course/syllabi_grad/theory_readings/lar9c.pdf). Eye contact is the most important means of nonverbal communications. The eyes are commonly referred to as ‘the windows to the soul’ … sometimes uncomfortably so, as Ken Kesey suggested in “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” when he described the feeling of wandering around in the thick fog and suddenly coming across another person and seeing deep into each other’s souls before their eyes could react and having to look away from each other in embarrassment and shame. But, eye contact has a pleasant side, as well. As Ben said, “Drink to me only with thine eyes and I will pledge with mine.” Maintaining good eye contact conveys honesty, openness and genuine interest. The key to intimacy depends primarily upon the amount of time two people dilate their eyes simultaneously while making eye contact (http://members.aol.com/nonverbal2/lovesig3.htm ). The goal is to build an intimacy with short, frequent ‘eye embraces’. Obviously, the more time spent making eye contact, the more often both individuals will accidentally happen to be dilating their eyes at the same time.

The more subtle, often overlooked aspect is how to increase the frequency and duration of eye dilation, thereby increasing the chances of simultaneous eye dilation. Everyone instinctively knows eye dilation is the primary message of intimacy (http://www.chass.utoronto.ca/epc/srb/cyber/zel4.html) even if they don’t verbalize it (eye contact is nonverbal communication, after all). Even though they may not voice this knowledge, they know the tricks of increasing eye dilation very well. The pupils naturally dilate in response to a lack of light, hence ‘romantic settings’ tend to be dimly lit. Candles are particularly effective. The variations in lighting allow one to unmistakably catch their partner dilating their eyes at him (or her). Alcohol (especially wine) and some other drugs dilate the eyes significantly (roofies, however, are definitely frowned upon). The body also responds to physical contact by dilating the eyes, especially non-threatening physical contact (touching a neutral portion of the body normally protected from contact, such as the inside of the upper arm, for example). While practicing good eye contact techniques naturally increase the chances of simultaneous eye contact, this method still relies upon a certain amount of random chance.

The chances of an intimate mood building to something more physical is directly proportional to the frequency and duration of mutual eye dilation (http://www.reid.com/materials-tip-may00.html). The most effective technique of increasing intimacy is to to get your mind working on the right side of your brain, kind of like the way Fernando Valenzuela breathes through his eyelids like a lava lizard (http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0094812/combined), maintain good eye contact to detect the eyes of your partner dilating, and instantaneously dilate your eyes in response. This increases the number of mutual eye dilations exponentially vs. the linear method normally employed by romantically inclined singles and builds the level of intimacy to a point where a more physical intimacy is inevitable.

 

[bbarrett]

You guys are approching this like a physics problem, then maybe I should explain it this way.all you need to know here is that opposites attract, and, That the angle of the dangle is directly proportionate to the heat of the meat! Just be yourself make her feel comfortable around you, if your not comfortable with yourself you better start there.; There is more to life then Physics, so go out and enjoy the world your studing so hard to understand mathmatically, and enjoy it physically!

 

[Poobel]

Holy crap!

This thread is almost a year old..

This has nothing to do wiht the topic.. I just had to post in such an old thread

 

[Chrono]

This thread is almost a year old

That just comes to show you that science guys like us have...girl trouble.

 

[Arctic Fox]

Holy crap!

This thread is almost a year old..

This has nothing to do wiht the topic.. I just had to post in such an old thread

The girl is probably already married to someone else...

The guy is probably already in AA/rehab...

:D

 

[Saint]

Do you talk about sex when you first met a girl?
Will this scare her away ?

 

[Chrono]

The girl is probably already married to someone else...

Or at least already has a boyfriend. That's mostly been my problem in the past.

 

[lucianb]

awww man i started reading this thread and stopped at page 3, kinda like a soap opera,
so dude, did u get together with the girl? it's been 1 year :) should have :P

 

[Chrono]

Should've kept reading. I think he said that she moved somewhere. I can't really remember.

 

[franznietzsche]

Do you talk about sex when you first met a girl?
Will this scare her away ?

I'm assuming this is supposed to be funny.

If not: Unless she's a prostitute, probably.