What do girls/women look for in men?

[Math Is Hard]

this forum reveals the scary developments when math types range outside their expertise. it may be time to call in the psych ward. was that reference to "big sister" a veiled "big nurse" reference?

you look pale, mathwonk. Hold still while I load up this "B-12" injection for you. You'll be feeling more cooperative - er, I mean better - in no time!

 

[Hurkyl]

Sisters, have we gotten a chocolate delivery from Hurkyl recently?

Don't you remember? It was yummy. Oh wait, I forgot, I ate it myself!

 

[Moonbear]

Don't you remember? It was yummy. Oh wait, I forgot, I ate it myself!

That just won't do at all...unless you want to undergo the surgery and become one of the sisters...

 

[Hurkyl]

That just won't do at all...unless you want to undergo the surgery and become one of the sisters...

Never! Do you hear me? NEVER! NEVER!

(wait... will I get to have long, silky red hair?)

 

[Math Is Hard]

*punches up Sisterhood transformation imaging profile*:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/graphics/2005/02/27/nhamm27.jpg
wow! Hurkyl, you look lovely!

 

[Hurkyl]

NEVER! 10 chars

 

[whitay]

My brother is a psychiatrist and he's come to the conclusion that I have Asperger's or high-function autism. I have been diagnosed as ADD (nearly ADHD), but according to a psychologist, I was able to compensate - probably with caffeine.

In elementary school, I had a hard time focusing on subjects in which I was not interested, and I had a hard time sitting still - I fidgeted. The one thing that could keep my mind occupied was math and science subjects. It appears that I used academics to stimulate my brain, and as a result I was a top level student in my academic career. That really didn't carry over to university, because by then I had other issues - I was struggling with living in civilization.

My wife says I don't get body language, and I guess I don't. However, I have studied people a lot since a long time ago - mainly because I find people and their behavior fascinating. I can read faces, but other more subtle behavior is apparently beyond me. So, I essentially made a practice of asking people about their thoughts as the need developed.

I've self diagnosed myself with Asperger syndrome, hyperlexia and depression. I struggle a lot with people, I have constantly put up with bullying at school until this year (approximately 11years of bullying). I struggle with socialising, however I've developed my ability to understand others emotions and body language. I struggle when people yell whether it be in an argument or displinary reasons (eg teacher), I simply cannot handle the raisings of one voice for any particular reason. My parents refer to me as the apathetic one, I have absolutely no emotion. My grandfather died and he was someone i seen every day of my life and someone who cared for me like a third parent, but when he died I felt nothing. My response was "Oh!" there was nothing more, no tears, no shivers down my spine, nothing.

I've always struggled with school, I can do it I never had a problem it's always been my lack of motivation and stimulation to do my homework and study hard enough. In my junior years math and science were a breeze, I never bothered studying I didn't need to, I knew i was going to get the highest mark in the class. But then senior years hit, year 11 I was so stuck in the not studying mode and aceing, then i suddenly went to a crash and burn I needed to study and I couldn't I wasn''t able, just sitting there for hours on end. I simply resorted to coming home and playing computer games. This year I've managed to get my act to gether and force myself to study. Though I also struggle with english I mean i get C for consistency, I often will converse using the biggest words I can think of at the time (hyperlexia, I don't always know what they mean but i know how to use them in a sentence, however I will remember the word and when i get home look the words definition up). However if I find a topic of interest I will often become obsessed and read as much as I can, for instance currently I'm obsessed with finding study's that prove second hand cigarette smoke isn't dangerous and that we should ban drinking like we've ban cigarette smoking as it's just as bad. I've found various we sites and articles and news paper/tv clippings.

My social life was next to nil until this year. Though I attempted to make friends, it was never with the right people. It would always start off fine, but then turn around and I'd be bullied by the very people who i thought were my friends.

I was tested at the age of 5 and only from what my parents have told me I don't have anything, except a memory that at the age of 5 was said to be equivalent of a child the age of 8 and poor motor skills(explains the hand writing).

I know one symptom on asperger syndrome is inability to accept change. I however don't have a problem with change. I've been away from home and parent for 2weeks and had no problem. I'm going to germany next year for 11months and I have no hesitations in the change of environment, culture and comfort zone.

I've ofcourse produced reports and clearly out lined the symptoms of asperger, hyperlexia and depression to my parents and they merely dismiss it and say it's a passing thing.

 

[Astronuc]

I know one symptom on asperger syndrome is inability to accept change. I however don't have a problem with change. I've been away from home and parent for 2weeks and had no problem. I'm going to germany next year for 11months and I have no hesitations in the change of environment, culture and comfort zone.

That may be one symptom of Asperger's. I also adapt to change and have no problem with chaos, which seems to contradictory with Asperger's. On the other hand, change in environment is very stimulating to the mind/brain, and perhaps that's what I enjoy.

My work has taken me to other nations, and I generally feel at home wherever I go. I usually prepare by learning some of the language in order to move around independently (I have a knack for languages). People are surprised that I actually know some of the local language. For me it is a simple matter of courtesy to those in the host country.

 

[whitay]

I'll let you know how I go learning german next year.

 

[Lisa!]

Never says never again...

NEVER! 10 chars

Why do you think you'd never look lovely? Belive me surgery and make-up do wonders!

Think of it as a possibility at least...

 

[radou]

Yeah, Hurkyl...Open your mind...Ooopen your miiiind... *wind twirls in a ghostly manner*

 

[Hurkyl]

I was doing this scene.

Besides, if I were a woman, I'd have pretty red hair, and wouldn't be caught dead in a dress like that, so there.

 

[alias25]

Wow, someone actually made an on topic post. I was confused for a moment there, I wasn't sure what he was talking about.

I is a SHE :)

sorry for changing the topic

 

[Moonbear]

I is a SHE :)

sorry for changing the topic

Ah! That's why your post made so much sense.

(Only in GD do people end up apologizing for changing the topic when they posted ON topic. )

 

[Moonbear]

I think psychiatrists have no idea what they are talking about and most have very little understanding of human nature. Normal depends, normal for whom. These days if one is a bit depressed, something is supposed to be wrong with you. But the most intelligent people were depressed. Aristotle thought philosophers were normal and the others leading a vegetative existence and satisfied with no intellectual interests were deficient, so it depends, normal for whom. One branch I have little respect for is modern day psychiatry. I respect the hard sciences physics and chemistry-but psychiatry-I think it an utter pseudo-science the way it is practised today. Physical laws do not so easily apply to the human organism. I am not talking about the methods of medicine say to treat a broken leg. Perhaps the severely mentally impaired can be helped somewhat by it. A good friend of mine in medical school was interested in it but got scared off when she saw that it was turning mostly into pharmacology these days. When millions of Americans are on medications, one has to wonder. Clearly, it is all a consequence of life in the post modern age.
By the way, I forgot what this post was about?
Oh this was to Witay, there is probably absolutely nothing wrong with you-you will figure it out eventually. Enjoy learning German. It is a great language to know, especially for those in Math and Science.

Actually, I think psychiatrists are pretty well-informed on these things. The problems that occur are when general practitioners start dabbling in psychiatry and prescribe things like antidepressants or medicines for ADD/ADHD without having the training to properly evaluate a patient for these conditions.

Self-diagnosis is definitely not the right way to go about it either. Reading a list of symptoms and saying, "Hey, I have 5 of those 8 symptoms, I must have...X" is not a proper diagnosis. A psychiatrist is going to look at more than just a short list of symptoms. They're going to look at the entire context of your behaviors, and if there are other physical indicators to complement the behavioral concerns, or to explain them. And, there are things that in one context may be abnormal, but in another are perfectly normal, so context matters a lot. For example, crying a lot in the first year after a close loved one dies is not depression, it's normal grieving. I also wouldn't assume that someone not reacting with a lot of tears to the news of someone's death is somehow abnormal. Some people react oddly to news of death because they simply haven't enough experience in dealing with it to react much at all, or have a different coping mechanism, and sometimes, if you know someone has been long suffering and death was already approaching soon, you've had time to brace for it, and may even be a bit relieved that they are finally out of pain. It's all within the range of normal responses, and a psychiatrist will know this.

One should also be careful in trying to relate symptoms of an adult psychiatric disorder to children. There are people who specialize in child psychiatry for a reason, because they are different than adults in what is normal behavior and what isn't. For example, a teenager getting all moody isn't a mood disorder, it's puberty, and perfectly normal as their adult hormones start kicking in and affecting a not-quite-yet-adult body and brain.

I'm not sure why you object to the pharmacology part of it either? Any other time the body isn't working right on its own, you'd use a pharmacological approach to treat it, so why would you think that's going to be different if the problem is in the brain?

 

[Astronuc]

I think the problem with psychiatry or medicine, and in fact in any profession, is that there a great practitioners, there are good practitioners, and there are bad ones. How to tell the difference before hand. That is my experience. With medicine, one's or one's loved-one's health or life, is on the line. How do know the right path, or avoid going down the wrong path with lost time or irreparable damage or injury?

Self-diagnosis is generally not a good idea. It is best to get an expert opinion, and hopefully from a competent expert.

My children take Concerta (time released Ritalin) for ADD, which they inherited from me. I managed to get by without, but things probably would have gone a lot smoother for me if I had had access to it 30+ years ago. My son really does need it to function 'normally', meaning his behavior conforms to socially acceptable norms, otherwise he would be disruptive in class. My daughter has been diagnosed as having symptoms of Asperger's, and my son exhibits characteristics of Asperger's or high-functioning autism, more so than me. Likely it is genetically related and they got it from me.

My daughter has had some unfortunate side-effects from different medication and my wife actually educated one of the doctors regarding drug interaction, because he simply didn't know - there are so many drugs in use. Compounding this is the fact that each patient is different and there is no way to know a priori as to how any given person will respond/react to a drug or a combination of drugs, and sometimes it comes down to trial and error, which can be significant if it affects one's well-being.

 

[twisting_edge]

Perhaps I am simplifying things a bit. But why is it that there there are so many people in the States on medications for the brain? The number is staggering. Medications are all too readily prescribed these days and abused in this sense it seems to me.

Bad news: the French lead the pack in terms of perscriptions/person, with the US a somewhat distant third. I saw an article on it a few years ago (2003?) and might be able to dig it up again. I forget who was second (Germans or UK, I think). The vast majority in all countries seems to be anti-depressants. It's all fuzzy data, though. The only part I am certain of is the French having a very big lead over everyone else in anti-depressants.

The trick is that in the US, the prescribee often has to PAY for it. The perscription isn't useful, so people don't ask for them as much.

But I would very much agree we dose our kids with far too many mood suppressors.

 

[Moonbear]

Perhaps I am simplifying things a bit. But why is it that there there are so many people in the States on medications for the brain? The number is staggering. Medications are all too readily prescribed these days and abused in this sense it seems to me.

Why is it that so many are on medications for blood pressure? Because people need it. Just because they didn't have it before doesn't mean they didn't need it, just that the drugs weren't available. People used to just lose their jobs or get called lazy if they had ADD that kept them from focusing on their work, or people with more serious mental illnesses wound up in prison or wandering the streets homeless, being called crazy. Now we have the ability to treat many of these problems and let these people live much more normal lives. If anything, the medications available for mental illness are still lagging far behind any other area of medicine, and it's not like there's just one disease called "mental illness." Many of the medications are still pretty crude, treating symptoms not the illness, and that's because of the still prevalent attitude that people just need to "deal with it" rather than the recognition that they have something physically wrong with them that can and should be treated if there were more focus on research and development of more specific compounds to treat the root of the illness rather than a constellation of symptoms.

 

[moose]

I usually prepare by learning some of the language in order to move around independently (I have a knack for languages). People are surprised that I actually know some of the local language. For me it is a simple matter of courtesy to those in the host country.

Reminds me of Feynman...

 

[mathwonk]

this is such a roaring successwe should follow it with "what do women look for in a dog?"

 

[Evo]

Why is it that so many are on medications for blood pressure? Because people need it. Just because they didn't have it before doesn't mean they didn't need it, just that the drugs weren't available. People used to just lose their jobs or get called lazy if they had ADD that kept them from focusing on their work, or people with more serious mental illnesses wound up in prison or wandering the streets homeless, being called crazy. Now we have the ability to treat many of these problems and let these people live much more normal lives. If anything, the medications available for mental illness are still lagging far behind any other area of medicine, and it's not like there's just one disease called "mental illness." Many of the medications are still pretty crude, treating symptoms not the illness, and that's because of the still prevalent attitude that people just need to "deal with it" rather than the recognition that they have something physically wrong with them that can and should be treated if there were more focus on research and development of more specific compounds to treat the root of the illness rather than a constellation of symptoms.

I agree, many people are benefitting and living better lives thanks to these drugs. The misconceptionm is that they turn you into a zombie, you're no longer normal. That sounds like overdosing or the wrong medication given and the patient isn't being followed up correctly.

 

[whitay]

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

 

[Moonbear]

this is such a roaring successwe should follow it with "what do women look for in a dog?"

Dog is man's best friend, silly.

Actually, I like a big, happy dog who jumps up to greet me when I get home.

But, until I have a lifestyle more suited to keeping one of those around, I have to settle for playing with my cat.

 

[whitay]

well my sister was living by her self for a year and she bought herself a miniture maltese terrior and she loves it. I guess it cause the dog is cute, stupid and always acts like a puppy.

This morning i was watching tv and it was trying to dig through the floor tiles. So now I call it the miner. It also has a habit of running into doors.

 

[Moonbear]

This morning i was watching tv and it was trying to dig through the floor tiles. So now I call it the miner. It also has a habit of running into doors.

That sounds like the sort of dog my sister would go for. I'd be laughing too hard at such a dog. I already laugh at the cat when she misses her target while leaping. Two nights ago, she attempted to make a grand leap from the bed to the dresser and ended up looking more like something Wyle E. Coyote would do as she crashed into the front of the dresser, all 4 legs spread! I had a hard time stopping laughing long enough to check she was still okay (she was just sitting on the floor looking bewildered but unharmed).

My parents wanted to know why I got a cat...they said cats are too independent...my answer was, "So am I." They didn't even bother arguing further than that.

 

[whitay]

my coffee is cold. And I don't really like cats, infact not really into animals in general.

 

[Astronuc]

That sounds like the sort of dog my sister would go for. I'd be laughing too hard at such a dog. I already laugh at the cat when she misses her target while leaping. Two nights ago, she attempted to make a grand leap from the bed to the dresser and ended up looking more like something Wyle E. Coyote would do as she crashed into the front of the dresser, all 4 legs spread! I had a hard time stopping laughing long enough to check she was still okay (she was just sitting on the floor looking bewildered but unharmed).

Chester, our male cat, was being chased into the kitchen by our dog. He was preparing to leap from the Pergo flooring, and started his takeoff. But his rear legs slipped out from under him and he flipped 180°, naturally rotating in the process. The look on his - eyes wide and an expression indicating - WT*!

Just a few days ago, Chester was sitting near the side door, at the edge of step next to the landing, and Misty (our female cat) charged him. He leapt into the air and did a horizontal 180° landing and sliding backwards.

It's a good idea to find a partner who shares one's affinity for pets and animals. My wife and I both love cats and dogs, and we share the enjoyment of the butterfly garden with its variety of insects, and bird-watching.

 

[Astronuc]

How about a guy who would write something like -

Every time I say I Love You,

I'm really trying to say so much more than those three little words;
I'm trying to express so many wonderful feelings about you . . .

I'm trying to say that you mean more to me than anyone else in the world.

I'm trying to let you know that I adore you and that I cherish the time we spend together.

I'm trying to explain that I want you and that I need you,
and that I get lost in wonderful thoughts every time I think about you.

And each time I whisper "I Love You," I'm trying to remind you
that you're the nicest thing that has ever happened to me.

~ Carey Martin

and really mean it.

 

[Astronuc]

this is such a roaring successwe should follow it with "what do women look for in a dog?"

Pika, pika!

Shall we call it "The Man's Best Friend (After His Wife/Girlfriend, Of Course) Thread"?

 

[Astronuc]

My idea of a perfect mate is having someone you can come home to at the end of a crappy day and just put your head on his shoulder, and vice versa. I'll make up some snacks and he'll go rent a funny video and we'll commiserate a little and have some laughs. Ultimately, it's me and him against the world, not against each other.

The other part is when there is disagreement or discord, and one partner is angry at something done or not done or said by the other. Hopefully one's partner will work through it with one.

A test of love comes when one looks at the others anger and still feels fortunate and grateful for being with the other, and one remains determined to stick it out.

 

[BobG]

this is such a roaring successwe should follow it with "what do women look for in a dog?"

This morning I saw my dog nearly do something I've never seen a dog do in my entire life - catch a squirrel.

The squirrel was on the deck railing when we walked out the back door and I thought, "This oughta be fun." Zoie completely missed seeing the squirrel on the deck and went for the squirrel down in the yard. After that one got away, she noticed the squirrel on the railing, who was now between me and the dog with no clear escape route (not that I would have leapt in front of a charging squirrel). The squirrel moved along the railing towards the house with the dog following on the ground about 10 feet below, then changed directions and ran towards the yard. It leapt off the railing towards the nearest tree, but surely it had to realize the tree was at least twenty feet too far away. Bad news!

I kept thinking, "There's no way a dog can catch a squirrel, but how in the world is that squirrel going to increase acceleration due to the force of gravity?" Man, it seemed to take a long time for that squirrel to reach the ground. Zoie was practically on top of it by time it landed and it had to do a quick change of direction back towards the deck, but the dog was closing on it quick.

It took a 180 degree direction change at the last possible instant, practically heading back under the dog's legs to avoid being caught. That did the trick for the squirrel. There's no way a dog can do a 180 that fast and the squirrel finally got the head start it needed to make it to the tree (and just barely at that).

What excitement in the morning!

Oh, yeah, just so the post isn't completely off topic, women look for a man who can dilate his eyes at will. Either that or a man with enough courage to face a charging squirrel.

 

[Astronuc]

Oh, yeah, just so the post isn't completely off topic, women look for a man who can dilate his eyes at will.

Umm, the benefit of this escapes me. Please inform me.

Either that or a man with enough courage to face a charging squirrel.

Or stupid enough to face a charging squirrel.

 

[Moonbear]

I suppose our attitudes towards it is determined by those we see using them. I do not think the people I knew were helped by it, but perhaps there are others that are who I have not seen. But it is a sad thing that so many people have to be on medications. I wonder if it is a consequence of modern day living, we are just living in more pathological, depressed times? Who knows. Anyway, so much for all this-one can only comment on what one has seen for oneself...

Or that we live longer and otherwise healthier lives, so have less serious problems to put the more minor ones in perspective. Plus, we can identify the symptoms of these problems before someone just winds up committing suicide, so they are on medication instead of dead. It's also something that people aren't as ashamed to talk about anymore. People have always had these problems, but nobody talked about it. For example, my Great Uncle had Parkinson's, but you never heard people talking about Parkinson's back then. People who saw him out walking somewhere just assumed he was the town drunk even though he hadn't touched a drink in years (he couldn't with the medication he was on). But, he also just didn't go out often. He was pretty much housebound during most of my childhood, not going much further than the backyard.

 

[JasonRox]

Or that we live longer and otherwise healthier lives, so have less serious problems to put the more minor ones in perspective. Plus, we can identify the symptoms of these problems before someone just winds up committing suicide, so they are on medication instead of dead. It's also something that people aren't as ashamed to talk about anymore. People have always had these problems, but nobody talked about it. For example, my Great Uncle had Parkinson's, but you never heard people talking about Parkinson's back then. People who saw him out walking somewhere just assumed he was the town drunk even though he hadn't touched a drink in years (he couldn't with the medication he was on). But, he also just didn't go out often. He was pretty much housebound during most of my childhood, not going much further than the backyard.

Yes, but it seems like these things are becoming more prominent.

Like David Suzuki pointed out one day in front of a bunch of kids where he asked how many kids had asthma and a few kids (5-10) raised their hands where as thirty years ago only maybe like 1 would have raised their hand. The number of cases are growing percentage wise.

Of course, asthma and neurological disorders are totally different, but then again neurological disorders are sometimes correlated to lack of activity, toxic environments, and so on..., which itself is causing the rise of asthma as well.

To me it's not the idea that people didn't talk about it before, but more so because it is in reality becoming a serious problem affecting more and more people.

Note: I do understand how people did not talk about it before, but I doubt that could account for all the rising problems coming about today. That just doesn't seem plausible.

 

[zoobyshoe]

But it is a sad thing that so many people have to be on medications. I wonder if it is a consequence of modern day living, we are just living in more pathological, depressed times? Who knows.

Street drugs. We're on our third generation of drug users. Kids are increasingly being raised by people who have been disorganized and affected by past, and in some cases continuing, drug use. Today's kids can't ever be authentically convinced they should stay away from them because their parents and grandparents don't have the moral high ground to convincingly speak against drugs. It exacerbates all proclivities toward mental illness and the more powerful ones can seriously damage people who start out more or less healthy.