What do girls/women look for in men?

[Astronuc]

suggestion: quit blogging all this nonsense and ask some women for a date. i am told most women accept invitations to dinner.

or lunch, or coffee, or a snack.

Just keep asking until one says 'yes'.

 

[matthew baird]

This is right. Good advice. All women reach a point in their lives when they stop thinking that the men they can love and respect do not happen to be around them, and start to notice those that are interested in them. It is only a matter of time in their lives.
Reading this has been interesting. I personally never thought that some men could be so overpowered by women! More power to women I suppose.

hehehe...Well now you know the power that women hold It goes both ways though. Your right, its only a matter of time until they realize how many guys they have at their feet hahah then they will stop thinking about the guys they have a close to nothing chance with.

 

[Evo]

hehehe...Well now you know the power that women hold It goes both ways though. Your right, its only a matter of time until they realize how many guys they have at their feet hahah then they will stop thinking about the guys they have a close to nothing chance with.

I have always been clueless with men. I have never been aware of anyone "liking" me and am always surprised when they finally tell me. I just do NOT pick up on hints.

If a guy is being friendly or nice, I assume he's just being friendly or nice.

 

[arildno]

If a guy is being friendly or nice, I assume he's just being friendly or nice.

That's me.

 

[zoobyshoe]

I have always been clueless with men. I have never been aware of anyone "liking" me and am always surprised when they finally tell me. I just do NOT pick up on hints.

If a guy is being friendly or nice, I assume he's just being friendly or nice.

This is an interesting subject. By all accounts women are supposed to be very much more sensitive to facial expressions and body language than men and this is attributed to the 20% larger corpus callosum: the c shaped body of connecting fibers that allows the two hemispheres of the brain to communicate. I saw a documentary on a study where women and men were shown photos of people and it seemed in all cases that the women could characterize the mood of the subject much more quickly and accurately than the men. Men could do it, but they had to concentrate much harder.

At the same time, I sometimes run into women who don't seem to have a clue what men are actually attracted to them and who is just being friendly. As a guy I can tell exactly what guy is interested in what woman, but the women often can't tell the difference.

 

[Milo Hobgoblin]

Asking a girl/woman what she looks for in a man is like asking a 3 year old what they want to be when they grow up.

If you want to see what women THINK they want in a man.. go to ANY singles website and read the posts.

If you want to see what women DESIRE in a man.. go to a nightclub and watch... see who goes home with whom.

You will not like what you see. Because I can promise you that they won't be going home with the "nice guys".


Wake up and realzie this.. if you have to ask. You've already lost

 

[radou]

...You will not like what you see. Because I can promise you that they won't be going home with the "nice guys".

I agree on this one, but to be 'nice' is a very relative term.

 

[Evo]

Asking a girl/woman what she looks for in a man is like asking a 3 year old what they want to be when they grow up.

If you want to see what women THINK they want in a man.. go to ANY singles website and read the posts.

If you want to see what women DESIRE in a man.. go to a nightclub and watch... see who goes home with whom.

You will not like what you see. Because I can promise you that they won't be going home with the "nice guys".


Wake up and realzie this.. if you have to ask. You've already lost

Well, I don't know all the women on PF, but I know that Math Is Hard, Moonbear, Hypatia, Tsu and myself all know what we want in a man. We're not ditzes, we don't hang out at bars and prefer intelligence and wit over superficial looks and we DEFINITELY don't go for the stupid "bad boy" types, we can't stand them.

 

[Milo Hobgoblin]

"Well, I don't know all the women on PF, but I know that Math Is Hard, Moonbear, Hypatia, Tsu and myself all know what we want in a man. We're not ditzes, we don't hang out at bars and prefer intelligence and wit over superficial looks and we DEFINITELY don't go for the stupid "bad boy" types, we can't stand them."

And do you think the average woman who posts on PF is much like the average woman out there in the world? I don't even know you and we both know you're not that naive'

The reality is.. no matter the IQ, educational background.. people are generally the same. And the things that stir a womans loins in that bad boy type are going to stir the loins of most women.

Just like some big boobed blonde bimbo is going to get any guy hot and bothered no matter how much he knows she will just be trouble.

 

[radou]

...Just like some big boobed blonde bimbo is going to get any guy hot and bothered no matter how much he knows she will just be trouble.

{,,}

 

[Astronuc]

If a guy is being friendly or nice, I assume he's just being friendly or nice.

That actually applies in my case. I am friendly and nice (er, at least I think I am) to everyone. I was always worried that women would read more into that, and that occassionally did happen, which was rather awkward.

 

[radou]

...
I think it is hard for every woman to find someone that is right for her, it is not about who is interested in you, but whether that person is right for you and this differs for everyone which is why the thread is going no where.

That applies for men too, don't forget.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Some hobgoblins are trolls.

 

[zoobyshoe]

The reality is.. no matter the IQ, educational background.. people are generally the same. And the things that stir a womans loins in that bad boy type are going to stir the loins of most women.

Just like some big boobed blonde bimbo is going to get any guy hot and bothered no matter how much he knows she will just be trouble.

I hope no one tries to deny this. On the other hand after you've had some experience you realize that, in addition to wanting someone who is stimulating on a basic physical level you also want a really elaborate, rich personality to interact with. For the most part you're not going to be in bed together and someone who still engages you in all the non-sexual aspects of interaction is highly desirable.

 

[Evo]

And do you think the average woman who posts on PF is much like the average woman out there in the world? I don't even know you and we both know you're not that naive'

I'd say that the handful I just mentioned are NOT typical of the type of women you describe.

The reality is.. no matter the IQ, educational background.. people are generally the same. And the things that stir a womans loins in that bad boy type are going to stir the loins of most women.

NOPE. Only women with low self esteem, or braindead bimbos fall for the "bad boy" type. I don't know what type of women you associate with, but I don't associate with bimbos that would fall for that type.

I have *never* dated that type of man. One thing I'm REALLY GOOD at is recognizing a$$holes instantly.

 

[matthew baird]

(snip)By the way, women always think inwardly that they are too good for the man, that is how they are and the actual truth of this is just irrelevant to them. There are certain ways of thinking that you cannot alter by any reasoning.
What can I say, if the relations between the sexes were that simple, then we would not have had all the literature over the years about it now, would we?

Hahaha I feel ya...there are definitely some thoughts or ways of thinking that you cannot change with any amount of reasoning. I have had first hand experience with that...ehhh... Guys typically think logical, girls think emotionally. Yup, if it were easy there wouldn't be so much literature about and we would not be having this conversation.

 

[matthew baird]

I'd say that the handful I just mentioned are NOT typical of the type of women you describe.(snip)

That's for sure...haha...why aren't there more out there?

 

[Evo]

I hope no one tries to deny this. On the other hand after you've had some experience you realize that, in addition to wanting someone who is stimulating on a basic physical level you also want a really elaborate, rich personality to interact with. For the most part you're not going to be in bed together and someone who still engages you in all the non-sexual aspects of interaction is highly desirable.

Boy, you really should see pictures of a lot of the men I have dated. They are attractive TO ME. The fact that they weren't considered attractive in general was not an issue. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I tend to steer clear of "hot guys" because most lack brains and/or personalities. The exceptions to this I can count on one hand.

My perfect man, as I have described before is tall, skinny, geek/nerd with glasses and BORING. Preferably he has never worked out in his life and reads tons of books.

 

[Milo Hobgoblin]

I agree Evo. Women are all different-it is impossible to generalize about them, one can only speak for oneself. I cannot stand such types either, but those types are the ones to bother you.
I think it is hard for every woman to find someone that is right for her, it is not about who is interested in you, but whether that person is right for you and this differs for everyone which is why the thread is going no where.

No they're not. People are not that different from one another in their wants and desires. Countless studies have proven that there are ideal traits WHICH YOU CANNOT HELP but be attracted to.

Many of those traits are inheritent to that "bad boy" type.. that "alpha male" all you women pretend your "too wise" for. Cuz I can promise you that sweet little guy your married to or dating isn't the one who has been propagating our species for the last few hundred thousand years. He may be taking care of the famly.. but there is a 20-40% chance half that family ISNT EVEN HIS.. its that bad boy his woman had a few years back.

Just like that ideal 36-24-36 every guy drools over in the mini skirt... while he is telling his wife how much he doesn't like "big boobs" because she doesn't have em. I can tell you the only thing on his mind is what color her G-String is. Much like when you see that good looking bad boy you arent thinking about playing chess or working on differental equations with him.

You can train yourself to avoid those men.. but when selecting from a crowd.. they will ALWAYS draw your eyes and desire first. You may know he is trouble for anything long term... but you still want him.

As educated and intelligent as many of you appear on these boards.. have ANY of you read anything about human attraction and sexuality? Have you actually gone out and spent some time people watching? You know.. done some field studies? Hell.. maybe you have and all this denial is from personal expereince with those bad boys.. further proving my point.

That sweet little lab partner .. so nice, buying you gifts you spent years romantically ignoring.. while out with those bad boys.. years later its full circle and your married to that old lab partner.. nice, stable, devoted. While your still thinking about, craving that bad boy.

I find it even more humorous how women will adamantly deny their attraction to these men.. but get em in a bar with a few shots of tequila in em.. and all bets are off. Thats the real truth serum.


LOL great thread.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Boy, you really should see pictures of a lot of the men I have dated. They are attractive TO ME. The fact that they weren't considered attractive in general was not an issue. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I tend to steer clear of "hot guys" because most lack brains and/or personalities. The exceptions to this I can count on one hand.

My perfect man, as I have described before is tall, skinny, geek/nerd with glasses and BORING. Preferably he has never worked out in his life and reads tons of books.

This sounds good, but you once posted a picture of one of your ex-husbands naked to the waist and, all I can say if that if there's a difference between who a woman says she's attracted to and who she actually marries, believe who she marries.

 

[radou]

...I tend to steer clear of "hot guys" because most lack brains and/or personalities. The exceptions to this I can count on one hand.

That's really sad. I know this, in general, isn't true neither for women or men. But I guess it depends on personal experience. I met a lot of girls who are, let say 'hot', and definitely have the brains. The same stands for guys, except I can't judge the 'hotness' in this case, but let's assume I could.

 

[Evo]

This sounds good, but you once posted a picture of one of your ex-husbands naked to the waist and, all I can say if that if there's a difference between who a woman says she's attracted to and who she actually marries, believe who she marries.

He was in a bathing suit. And remember I said he was the ONE TIME I was talked into dating someone that was NOT MY TYPE physically. And he turned out to be completely wrong for me..

 

[Milo Hobgoblin]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Evo
...I tend to steer clear of "hot guys" because most lack brains and/or personalities. The exceptions to this I can count on one hand.



That's really sad. I know this, in general, isn't true neither for women or men. But I guess it depends on personal experience. I met a lot of girls who are, let say 'hot', and definitely have the brains. The same stands for guys, except I can't judge the 'hotness' in this case, but let's assume I could.

I think the BIGGEST difference between most women and the ones on this board.. is that they learn quicker.

And there are men and women out there who are hot and attractive.. but they certainly arent common.. Especially with women. Women learn at an early age to rely on their looks.. and let other areas suffer (like academics) because of it. Take a look at your average stripper and pron queen.. because a lot of those hot girls who let everything else go end up at "Pole U"

It sounds mean.. buy unattractive girls learn at an early age.. they better do better in school.. because their looks arent going ot get them far. They bust their backsides at math and science.. get great jobs.. etc.. some of them become late bloomers and are great girls. because they are beautiful and don't know it.

NOTHING worse than a person who is really attractive and knows it.

 

[JasonRox]

NOTHING worse than a person who is really attractive and knows it.

How is that bad? It's good to know. Is that suppose to be good because so they go out with ugly guys?

It all comes down to how you handle it. I'd want a girl who knows she's not. Not one that doesn't know. The sex would be terrible if she didn't know because then she wouldn't be wearing hot items and such! Boring.

Note: Yes, the sex is important.

 

[matthew baird]

(snip)As educated and intelligent as many of you appear on these boards.. have ANY of you read anything about human attraction and sexuality? Have you actually gone out and spent some time people watching? You know.. done some field studies? Hell.. maybe you have and all this denial is from personal expereince with those bad boys.. further proving my point.LOL great thread.

HAHAHA no comment...

 

[matthew baird]

It all comes down to how you handle it. I'd want a girl who knows she's not. Not one that doesn't know. The sex would be terrible if she didn't know because then she wouldn't be wearing hot items and such! Boring.
Note: Yes, the sex is important.

It definitely comes down to how one handles and controls themself. Personally, I want a gal who knows that I think she is gorgeous and acts accordingly. One of my previous girlfriends thought that she was fat, and I am not saying like the girls who say that they are to get attention and know they are not fat. She really thought she was, only weighed 130lbs and at 5'8". I thought she was so freakin beautiful I couldn't handle it. The sex lacked that's for sure, and it all comes down to the fact that she thought she was fat, she seemingly ignored how I felt.

 

[radou]

No! Everyone appreciates physical beauty. No denying that. But that is not the only thing that attracts a woman. There is nothing more unattractive than a guy with no intelligence. Having intelligence is not about having degrees, it is about being a man. Like Evo said, it takes a certain woman to appreciate a man with with wit, character, intelligence and class. The physical will become dull if there is nothing more there.

Everyone appreciates physical beauty according to his own taste, i.e. it is an axiom that beauty is completely relative. People who have taste constructed and shaped out by the media, don't have their own taste, and I find them completely pathetic.

Btw, if intelligence is about 'being a man', and having 'character, intelligence and class', doesn't that in 99.9% of cases imply the existence of one or more degrees?

 

[turbo]

I add perhaps some hobgoblins do not realize that there are men out there with intellect, class and character and that certain women who appreciate such things will prefer them to the rest. Perhaps the hobgoblin needs someone cut out for him, the female hobgoblin! After all birds of similar feathers flock together.

I am fortunate to have been in relationships with some wonderful women, including my wife of 31 years. I can tell you that I met only one of them in a bar. One very stormy winter night in college, I went to a local bar for a drink, and a statuesque brunette lifeguard with a baby face came over to my table when I sat down and asked if she could buy me a drink. She was 4 years older than me and several inches taller, and we had a great year together until she graduated and moved on.

I don't know what she saw in a skinny 4-eyed nerd with a passion for the blues with only a couple of beat-up guitars (and a half-decent stereo) to his name, but I'm happy that it happened. My friends were just shaking their heads, saying "why you?"

 

[radou]

...and a statuesque brunette lifeguard with a baby face came over to my table when I sat down and asked if she could buy me a drink.

She came over to your table? Now, that's what I call a woman. Women never make 'first moves', at least not as I've experienced. That's another interesting topic, btw. I don't understand why the initiative is left to us males, every time... :zzz:

 

[turbo]

She came over to your table? Now, that's what I call a woman. Women never make 'first moves', at least not as I've experienced. That's another interesting topic, btw. I don't understand why the initiative is left to us males, every time... :zzz:

Yes, and it took me by surprise, too, because I had seen her around campus and thought she was too cute. There was a blizzard going on outside and there were fewer than 10 people in the whole bar, and as soon as I grabbed a chair and shook off the snow, she was there. We went back to her place, and it felt really natural, like it was meant to be. A couple of her house-mates gave me the "evil eye" the next morning, but after I had made up a few batches of baked beans and spaghetti over the next few weeks, those cuties were hugging me when I showed up. Good cooking forgives a lot of stuff, including violations of the "don't bring your boyfriends here" rule.

 

[radou]

Yes, and it took me by surprise, too, because I had seen her around campus and thought she was too cute. There was a blizzard going on outside and there were fewer than 10 people in the whole bar, and as soon as I grabbed a chair and shook off the snow, she was there. We went back to her place, and it felt really natural, like it was meant to be. A couple of her house-mates gave me the "evil eye" the next morning, but after I had made up a few batches of baked beans and spaghetti over the next few weeks, those cuties were hugging me when I showed up. Good cooking forgives a lot of stuff, including violations of the "don't bring your boyfriends here" rule.

Well, there's only one thing to say - lucky you.

 

[turbo]

Well, there's only one thing to say - lucky you.

We collaborated (with another friend) on a project that gave us a "free pass" on the final of a very advanced class in English literature. I wrote and performed the music for this English classic, she did the screenplay, and our classmate/friend designed the scenes and costumes. The prof gave us wonderful grades, but asked why we didn't produce the play (showing his lack of understanding about the costs of such productions).

 

[zoobyshoe]

He was in a bathing suit. And remember I said he was the ONE TIME I was talked into dating someone that was NOT MY TYPE physically. And he turned out to be completely wrong for me..

The cognitive dissonance is killing me. You didn't merely date him, you MARRIED him! Whatever you think you're attracted to, you MARRIED the studly, hunky guy. This is what Hobgoblin was talking about: don't listen to what woman say they like, watch who they go home with. You may protest till you're blue in the face but actions speak louder than words.

 

[JasonRox]

The cognitive dissonance is killing me. You didn't merely date him, you MARRIED him! Whatever you think you're attracted to, you MARRIED the studly, hunky guy. This is what Hobgoblin was talking about: don't listen to what woman say they like, watch who they go home with. You may protest till you're blue in the face but actions speak louder than words.

Very good point.

 

[Evo]

The cognitive dissonance is killing me. You didn't merely date him, you MARRIED him! Whatever you think you're attracted to, you MARRIED the studly, hunky guy. This is what Hobgoblin was talking about: don't listen to what woman say they like, watch who they go home with. You may protest till you're blue in the face but actions speak louder than words.

I was not interested in how he looked. He pretended to be someone he wasn't so that I would marry him. He pretended to be the "perfect" guy for me and all my friend's kept telling me he was the one. Surely you read about that? I also divorced him.

You're wrong if you think his looks were part of what attracted me, it wasn't.

You get so fixated on one thing and ignore everything else.