Conflicted Feelings: Moving On from High School

[Moonbear]

Lol, that's kinda a silly question... You don't meet a girl and say "What do you want to talk about? Sex?"

Have any of you guys seen that TV show "Blind Date?" It's horrid, but one of the few things on TV in the wee hours of the morning when the other channels all have infomercials. The guys on that show seem to think that's a perfectly normal thing to discuss on a first date. No wonder they are so desperate they have to go on a blind date on national TV to get a woman to go out with them! The women really aren't much better on that show, don't think I'm being biased here, but the women don't usually bring up the topic of sex, they end up doing other crude things (there was one who spent most of the date burping...I think she needs to see a gastroenterologist before going on any more dates).

 

[Chrono]

Have any of you guys seen that TV show "Blind Date?" It's horrid.

I agree. The Bachelor, Elimidate, and the Fifth Wheel are the same. I don't know how people like that stuff. Now, there was one show on MTV that I loved to watch. Taildaters.

 

[Evo]

I've seen Blind Date, Elimidate and Fifth Wheel and it's frightening that people that clueless are out there. Where do they find these losers?

 

[Moonbear]

I've seen Blind Date, Elimidate and Fifth Wheel and it's frightening that people that clueless are out there. Where do they find these losers?

I don't know where they find them, but those losers seem to find me all the time! They are amazingly prevalent in the places I've lived.

 

[loseyourname]

The guys on that show seem to think that's a perfectly normal thing to discuss on a first date.

What the heck's so wrong with discussing sex on a first date?

 

[The Bob]

What the heck's so wrong with discussing sex on a first date?

A bit off putting, don't you think?

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[Moonbear]

What the heck's so wrong with discussing sex on a first date?

Nothing if you're an Arabian prince talking about breeding your thorobreds or polo ponies, or if its in a conversation about political implications of moral attitudes about sex, but on a first date, especially when it's a blind date with someone you know NOTHING about yet, it comes across pretty crass and off-putting if they are talking about numbers of partners, amount of sexual experience, and already asking for it. It pretty much says the guy isn't interested in anything other than getting laid. They also have the annoying habit of talking about all of their ex's (both the men and women do this). That's really tacky. Nobody on a first date wants to hear about the last person you just broke up with unless you intend to warn them you aren't over it yet, because that's what it says.

First date rules are a bit different when you already know someone before starting to date "officially." Then the date isn't about getting to know each other but getting to know each other on a new level.

 

[The_Professional]

Nothing if you're an Arabian prince talking about breeding your thorobreds or polo ponies, or if its in a conversation about political implications of moral attitudes about sex, but on a first date, especially when it's a blind date with someone you know NOTHING about yet, it comes across pretty crass and off-putting if they are talking about numbers of partners, amount of sexual experience, and already asking for it. It pretty much says the guy isn't interested in anything other than getting laid. They also have the annoying habit of talking about all of their ex's (both the men and women do this). That's really tacky. Nobody on a first date wants to hear about the last person you just broke up with unless you intend to warn them you aren't over it yet, because that's what it says.

I agree. To me it's very irritating, even I don't want to hear a woman say how many guys she's slept with, and on a first date is even worse.

I cannot count the number of times the guy blew it on that show by talking and hinting the topic of sex.

 

[The Bob]

I cannot count the number of times the guy blew it on that show by talking and hinting the topic of sex.

Most men are stupid in this area.

The Bob (2004 ©)

 

[bjon-07]

Question

This seems like the best place to ask this question?

Should I tell my best friend who I have only know for a semster that I am in madly love with her? We are good friends, we do stuff together every weekend and hang out to gether all day inbetween classes.

I have told her before that I like her, but I have never told her I that I love her. I know that she has never had a boyfriend before and claims that she does not currenly want one. She does have a girl friend right now thought, but she goes to a different school.

If I do this do you think it could jeperize our friendship?

Would that be selfish on my part knowing that it might make her feel bad, if she does does not want to be more than friends?

 

[Evo]

This seems like the best place to ask this question?

Should I tell my best friend who I have only know for a semster that I am in madly love with her? We are good friends, we do stuff together every weekend and hang out to gether all day inbetween classes.

I have told her before that I like her, but I have never told her I that I love her. I know that she has never had a boyfriend before and claims that she does not currenly want one. She does have a girl friend right now thought, but she goes to a different school.

If I do this do you think it could jeperize our friendship?

Would that be selfish on my part knowing that it might make her feel bad, if she does does not want to be more than friends?

From what you describe here, I wouldn't proclaim your love for her outright at this point. Usually you can tell if the other person has the same feelings for you. It could make her feel awkward and hurt the friendship you currently have. If you feel that inspite of what she has said she might have deeper feelings for you, keep making stronger hints of your feelings, and watching her reactions, but be ready to back off if she shows no interest.

 

[Moonbear]

I have to agree with Evo. If you proclaim you love her, you might scare her off! Besides, if you have only known her a semester and haven't even been dating yet, it might be more of an infatuation than love (it almost always is).

 

[Evo]

For the "dating impaired", here's an article.

'Wingperson' Becomes Commodity in Dating

CHICAGO - Two friends are at a party when one sees a potential love interest across the room. Immediately, the other friend swoops into action, making an introduction and helping to keep the conversation going — all so the buddy can score a phone number.

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20041214/ap_on_re_us/wingin__it

 

[Moonbear]

I thought the job of the "wingman" was to distract the potential love interest's less attractive girlfriend while his buddy went for the good-looking one?

 

[Chrono]

I thought the job of the "wingman" was to distract the potential love interest's less attractive girlfriend while his buddy went for the good-looking one?

I thought that was called a sacrifice.

 

[Evo]

A good "wingman" should be able to provide multiple services.

 

[Moses]

One of the reasons that destoys my relation with the only girl i loved is becuase of a F***** "Wingfly", i was too stupid to take him like that, even he was having a girl friend, he was trying to let mine cheat with him in my back, he did not got anything, and lose his girlfriend. And mine believed him in some issues, since he is the "close" one to me since she got to know me, and now it is really horrible [we are in two different countries now, and no-contact for over six months ] Now i am hardly trusting myself in such an issues, and i am not exaggerating, serouisly.

Liers are losers, crap be on back-stappers

 

[bjon-07]

I know that its not infatuation because it is more than a sexual attraction. I truley see her as one of my best friends. I know that she is against the concpet/conformitiy of dating. I am pretty sure that she likes me, we constanlty play fight.

Even if we are never more than friends that would not really bother me because I love her as a friend

 

[Moonbear]

Okay, guys, here's one big tip for you on how to get the girl...persistence, flattery and limericks! You have a master in your presence...watch the guy with the big pink tag under his name. :!)

 

[Chrono]

Okay, guys, here's one big tip for you on how to get the girl...persistence, flattery and limericks! You have a master in your presence...watch the guy with the big pink tag under his name. :!)

I can do the persistence thing. The flattery, somewhat. I haven't done the limericks thing, yet. You may have to tell me a bit more about how to do that.

 

[Andromeda321]

Chrono, I'd translate the limmericks bit into more a "make her smile and laugh" type thing. Trust me, there are few things that attract me to a guy as much as his ability to make me smile.

 

[Moonbear]

Chrono, I'd translate the limmericks bit into more a "make her smile and laugh" type thing. Trust me, there are few things that attract me to a guy as much as his ability to make me smile.

Yes, Andromeda is right about that. If you're not any good at writing limericks, it sure won't help. But, I'll take that a step further...it's not just the ability to make her laugh, but to make her laugh at the end of a very long day when she isn't already in a good mood. Consider it self-defense...if you can find a way to cheer her up rather than get your head bitten off when she's in a bad mood, you'll have the most wonderful relationship.

 

[Chrono]

Yes, Andromeda is right about that. If you're not any good at writing limericks, it sure won't help. But, I'll take that a step further...it's not just the ability to make her laugh, but to make her laugh at the end of a very long day when she isn't already in a good mood. Consider it self-defense...if you can find a way to cheer her up rather than get your head bitten off when she's in a bad mood, you'll have the most wonderful relationship.

I get it! I try to make everyone laugh, really. Mostly by acting stupid. Don't know if that's the way to go or not, but it works...ocassionally.

 

[Moonbear]

I get it! I try to make everyone laugh, really. Mostly by acting stupid. Don't know if that's the way to go or not, but it works...ocassionally.

It isn't so much "trying" to make them laugh as it is whether you actually accomplish it. If you try too hard, it can just be annoying. Are they actually laughing? Then again, it might just be a matter of finding the one who shares your sense of humor.

 

[Chrono]

Then again, it might just be a matter of finding the one who shares your sense of humor.

Yeah, that might help. But I don't think that's much of a problem. I'm pretty quick to catch when I should stop. I'm not totally clueless, now.

 

[Moonbear]

Yeah, that might help. But I don't think that's much of a problem. I'm pretty quick to catch when I should stop. I'm not totally clueless, now.

Well, had to ask...some guys are that clueless, and better to get a clue from the friendly folks at PF than from some jerk out on the street, right?

 

[Chrono]

Well, had to ask...some guys are that clueless, and better to get a clue from the friendly folks at PF than from some jerk out on the street, right?

Or a slap in the face for doing something totally wrong.

 

[Smurf]

I have girl trouble now too, I asked out a girl and she said 'no, I want to get to know you better first" and now she's teasing me, we're supposed to be going to a movie this weekend with some other friends and she says she wants to 'go somewhere alone' afterwards but 'not like that'.

I don't get it, is she just playing with me for amusment or is she genuinly messed up?

 

[Moonbear]

I have girl trouble now too, I asked out a girl and she said 'no, I want to get to know you better first" and now she's teasing me, we're supposed to be going to a movie this weekend with some other friends and she says she wants to 'go somewhere alone' afterwards but 'not like that'.

I don't get it, is she just playing with me for amusment or is she genuinly messed up?

I think either answer to your question leads to the same conclusion. Okay, that truly is bizarre. What does she think the point of dating is if not to get to know someone better? You don't have girl trouble, you have a troubled girl. Sorry, Smurf, I have no advice at all to help with that one, other than to keep your eyes open for something better.

 

[Smurf]

heh, what I was just thinking.

 

[The_Professional]

I have girl trouble now too, I asked out a girl and she said 'no, I want to get to know you better first" and now she's teasing me, we're supposed to be going to a movie this weekend with some other friends and she says she wants to 'go somewhere alone' afterwards but 'not like that'.

I don't get it, is she just playing with me for amusment or is she genuinly messed up?

If a girl likes you she wants to be with you. I know that's hard to comprehend but it's true. From the evidence you gave yes, she's just teasing you. I won't lose sleep over it

I have to give her credit though, with the kind of excuses she told you. She'd definitely make a good lawyer someday!

 

[Poobel]

This seems like a proper place to ask:

-What subject(s) to avoid during a conversation while on a date?

-What should not be brought up on a date? (Obviously not your previous relationship, or the size of your penis)

Just want to make sure that I won't mess up. There's an old russian saying: "Бережёного Бог бережёт" which means that "One who is cautious will be protected by God" and which literally means that if you are cautious, then you won't get in trouble.

Thanks.

 

[Chrono]

-What should not be brought up on a date?

I've always felt that you should just get to know your date. Ask what her interests are and stuff like that.

Any ladies disagree with that? I'm sure I only hit on a fraction of the answer.

 

[Smurf]

Don't bring up sex on the first date, that's for sure.

 

[The Bob]

Don't bring up sex on the first date, that's for sure.

Don't even think about it until you are married.

The Bob (2004 ©)