Conflicted Feelings: Moving On from High School

[PrudensOptimus]

Congratulations ladies and gentlemen,

I believe it is safe to say that we have made this thread the most popular in its category.

-

 

[cragwolf]

Just want to make sure that I won't mess up. There's an old russian saying: "Бережёного Бог бережёт" which means that "One who is cautious will be protected by God" and which literally means that if you are cautious, then you won't get in trouble.

Yeah, like a nun. Or a monk.

Don't even think about it until you are married.

Hell, don't even think about it until you are dead.

There are no rules when it comes to the game of love. Good luck.

 

[Chrono]

Congratulations ladies and gentlemen,

I believe it is safe to say that we have made this thread the most popular in its category.

I think the congratulations goes to you.

 

[PrudensOptimus]

Are your insides ringing bells recently? :D

 

[PrudensOptimus]

OK. Time to revive this thread.

 

[Mk]

lol. What now? I remember back when this thread just started. In fact, it was the first thread I ever read in GD...

 

[end3r7]

So is it a bad sign when your brother chooses your best friend to be a wingman instead of you? =/

 

[Chrono]

lol. What now? I remember back when this thread just started. In fact, it was the first thread I ever read in GD...

Yeah, I remember those times as well.

 

[rocketboy]

OK. Time to revive this thread.

lol, i started reading it and read the first page before realizing it was like 2 years ago...too lazy (and i have better stuff to do, ie studying for physics exam) than to search through the thread and find out what happened...so PrudensOPtimus, how did things turn out?

 

[PrudensOptimus]

Well,,

Since everyone is participating in this "Girl Trouble" discussion,

I am not the only subject :D


But to update my status,

I've just accepted into Stanford, California.

And seems like my "trouble" is really related to my personality -- "Good people finish last."

 

[rocketboy]

Well,,
Since everyone is participating in this "Girl Trouble" discussion,
I am not the only subject :D
But to update my status,
I've just accepted into Stanford, California.
And seems like my "trouble" is really related to my personality -- "Good people finish last."

congrats to stanford! That's certainly an accomplishment and a half!

No, ur definitely not the only subject...we will never understand women, they're like the origin of the universe, we strive to understand it but as of yet we are nowhere near accomplishing this feat, there have been numerous theories, none right, none wrong.

 

[Chrono]

No, ur definitely not the only subject...we will never understand women, they're like the origin of the universe, we strive to understand it but as of yet we are nowhere near accomplishing this feat, there have been numerous theories, none right, none wrong.

I've told this to so many people - advanced calculus is a lot easier than women.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

I've told this to so many people - advanced calculus is a lot easier than women.

I've met women as easy as subtraction and addition.

 

[Moonbear]

Okay, I'll tell you all again what I've told you all before...just ask the girl/woman out! I was out at Pleasure Island in Downtown Disney tonight, and there was this very cute, slightly geeky guy there dancing. I sent him all the signals, including moving to within about a foot of the guy dancing, he kept looking up at his buddies and I could see they were giving him the "go ahead man, she's into you" looks/signals, yet the guy just kept shying away. Instead, some other, more creepy, but more confident guy came up and ended up dancing with me, and I really wish the geeky guy would have come back onto the dance floor.

 

[-Job-]

Maybe you should've followed your own advice and asked him to dance with you.

 

[Chrono]

Instead, some other, more creepy, but more confident guy came up and ended up dancing with me, and I really wish the geeky guy would have come back onto the dance floor.

So...why not just ask him out yourself, then?

 

[The_Professional]

Okay, I'll tell you all again what I've told you all before...just ask the girl/woman out! I was out at Pleasure Island in Downtown Disney tonight, and there was this very cute, slightly geeky guy there dancing. I sent him all the signals, including moving to within about a foot of the guy dancing, he kept looking up at his buddies and I could see they were giving him the "go ahead man, she's into you" looks/signals, yet the guy just kept shying away. Instead, some other, more creepy, but more confident guy came up and ended up dancing with me, and I really wish the geeky guy would have come back onto the dance floor.

he missed out you should've sent the "come here i don't bite signal".

 

[Smasherman]

First of all, I'm not going to read over 1k posts, so this is based off of page 81 (before my post...).

btw, good guys don't exactly finish last, they just tend to. Moonbear is entirely right that you just need to ask the girl/woman out. You pretty much need to be confident + attractive (not necessarily physically attractive to a large degree, but being ugly is definitely a negative). Of course, this is coming from a guy who is nearly always single (then again, my theory encompasses this reality perfectly).

edit: girl/woman Sorry, but I deal nearly entirely with females under the age of 18, so they can't complain when I call them girls, since of course they call me a boy. Also I'm sorry because I don't want to hit a nerve.

 

[Mk]

he missed out you should've sent the "come here i don't bite signal".

I like the "flashing-the-headlights signal"

 

[Astronuc]

Okay, I'll tell you all again what I've told you all before...just ask the girl/woman out! I was out at Pleasure Island in Downtown Disney tonight, and there was this very cute, slightly geeky guy there dancing. I sent him all the signals, including moving to within about a foot of the guy dancing, he kept looking up at his buddies and I could see they were giving him the "go ahead man, she's into you" looks/signals, yet the guy just kept shying away. Instead, some other, more creepy, but more confident guy came up and ended up dancing with me, and I really wish the geeky guy would have come back onto the dance floor.

Men.

Moonbear, I guess you didn't have your lasso. So, how come you didn't just tackle the guy?

 

[rocketboy]

Okay, I'll tell you all again what I've told you all before...just ask the girl/woman out! I was out at Pleasure Island in Downtown Disney tonight, and there was this very cute, slightly geeky guy there dancing. I sent him all the signals, including moving to within about a foot of the guy dancing, he kept looking up at his buddies and I could see they were giving him the "go ahead man, she's into you" looks/signals, yet the guy just kept shying away. Instead, some other, more creepy, but more confident guy came up and ended up dancing with me, and I really wish the geeky guy would have come back onto the dance floor.

That's me every time i go to a dance type event...cept i don't look geeky lol.

 

[Moonbear]

he missed out you should've sent the "come here i don't bite signal".

I pretty much did everything EXCEPT tell him straight out to dance with me...I was already moving his way and dancing facing him and giving him my best "I'm interested" look. From past experience, I've learned that I need to let the guys make that final move so they think they've done the asking. Oh well, it's always possible he just wasn't interested, and if he's that bad at picking up on social cues, he probably wasn't worth pursuing much further anyway. The odds weren't great anyway...the male:female ratio was far too low.

 

[Moonbear]

Men.
Moonbear, I guess you didn't have your lasso. So, how come you didn't just tackle the guy?

Actually, if he hadn't left while I was in the restroom (my excuse to escape the Lenny the Lounge Lizard guy who started dancing with me), I was going to pass by him on my way back and strike up a conversation. Oh well, he missed his chance.

 

[Astronuc]

Actually, if he hadn't left while I was in the restroom (my excuse to escape the Lenny the Lounge Lizard guy who started dancing with me), I was going to pass by him on my way back and strike up a conversation. Oh well, he missed his chance.

As Archangel (ask Evo) to the PF Sisters, how about next time I'll be your wingman. That way I can keep away the flies, while you concentrate on the target(s). Hey, wasn't Zz supposed to be doing that this trip?

 

[Moonbear]

As Archangel (ask Evo) to the PF Sisters, how about next time I'll be your wingman. That way I can keep away the flies, while you concentrate on the target(s). Hey, wasn't Zz supposed to be doing that this trip?

He was too tired and went to sleep early.

 

[The_Professional]

I pretty much did everything EXCEPT tell him straight out to dance with me...I was already moving his way and dancing facing him and giving him my best "I'm interested" look.

i was being facetious. he's probably waiting for a message from god.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

From past experience, I've learned that I need to let the guys make that final move so they think they've done the asking.

Some guys like it when the girl comes onto them.
Personally just about every girl I have dated came after me. I've found that most girls that are interested in me will come after me and just about every girl that I go after is not interested. As a result I very rarely try to pick up on girls anymore. My last serious girlfriend was actually really bothered when I told her that had she not made a move on me I probably would not have made one on her. I also told her that looking back on it the only reason I think I was so comfortable with her during the "courting" stage was that I thought she was so amazing a woman that she would never really be interested in me. I assumed that she would just think I was a nice guy and we would wind up friends so the pressure was never there. In the end I was right and I never really was what she wanted, she just thought I was.

 

[Smasherman]

Since this is a girl trouble thread, and no one whom I direct to this site ever actually comes here, I'm going to describe my problem. For those of you who I know in real life, bugger off (but not in a mean way).

I'm interested in a girl who has a boyfriend. She gives me reason to believe she's interested in me, too. We have occasional conversations and recently had lunch together (at a restaurant, not school). She casually mentioned doing so again (she casually mentioned going out to eat the first time, too. I asked, though). She manages to mention her boyfriend about once in every conversation we have that lasts over 10 minutes.

My current strategy is to not push her to make any serious decisions. Part of this is courtesy (I'd rather not mess things up, plus her boyfriend seems cool from what I've seen), and part of it is because she seems to have a fairly long-standing relationship (she refers to her boyfriend's father with a casual name). Basically, I think she'd choose him at this point.

So... any ideas on what she's thinking, and what's likely to happen in the near future?

 

[dicerandom]

Smasherman:

If you're really interested in this girl you should keep up with your current course of action. Talk with her, hang out, get lunch or whatever, and let her know (in little ways) that you're interested. Maybe she'll break up with her bf and then you two could have something together. Be advised that this is an extremely dangerous path though, it's quite possible that she will continue on with her current relationship and you'll be stuck waiting around. It is up to you to re-evaluate the situation periodically.

Having said that, let me offer one more piece of advise. Never, ever, ever go out with a someone who will cheat on their current SO to be with you. They will end up cheating on you at some later time. I've walked down that road more times than I care to admit and it always ends in tears.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

So... any ideas on what she's thinking, and what's likely to happen in the near future?

I think that you are likely to be gentleman enough to decide it on your own but I'll start off by saying that you should not be involved with her romantically at all unless she is single.
With that said it is possible that she is just interested in being friends. I couldn't really say for sure unless I were to see how she is with you myself. I do know though that I have thought certain women were interested in me before only to find out later that they were just being friendly. I once even had a lady tell me that I was going to spend the night at her place. Up to this she had always asked me to call her to get together and hang out. She preferred spending time alone with me. Pretty much all the things that you would think a lady who is interested in you would say. When I asked her out on a real date she told me she just wanted to be friends lol. This is one of those reasons why, as I mentioned above, I don't go after women anymore.
So I would say go ahead and spend time with her but don't consider her a potential girlfriend. At some point if she does anything that gives you a very strong impression that she is interested in you, or if she has already, I think it would be fair and apropriate enough for you to ask her straight out what her intentions are. In as polite and unobtrusive a manner as possible while still being clear and straight forward. The fact that she is involved with someone dissolves the whole courting process where you generally aren't supposed to ask a woman what her intentions are. It makes the situation more of a problem that needs to be resolved and allows for being upfront. If she is interested in you then she obviously has issues with her relationship and you (should) have issues with being a distraction to her.
If you are at all considering involving yourself with her I would say make absolutely sure that she is single first and be careful because you could easly wind up a meaningless fling or having her do the same to you (start seeing someone else while she's seeing you).

 

[Astronuc]

Smasherman,

I concur with dicerandom and TSA. As long as this woman has a 'boyfriend', then you should consider your relationship as a friendship and nothing more. I couldn't say more without knowing how serious her relationship is with a boyfriend.

If one breaks a relationship because something better comes along, then that would a warning that it might happen again.

 

[Smasherman]

Thanks for the advise. It's good to know I'm not doing anything terribly wrong.

TheStatuatoryApe, I recently (several months ago) had pretty much the same situation you had with a girl giving numerous signs, and then only wanting to be friends.

As to whether or not she'd cheat... I don't know. I hope not.

Also I'm not focusing entirely on her, just mostly, so I'm not too worried about being stuck waiting around. I've done that too many times...

Thinking about it, she might consider me just a friend and never anything more, or maybe just a friend because she's already in a relationship. Either way I intend to keep the status quo (I think that's the term). I DO enjoy just talking to her, so friendship is acceptable (just not preferable).

 

[Bladibla]

I don't get anything that's happening on this thread.

All i have concluded is that the OP was accepted to stanford.

 

[___]

My girl trouble:
The problem is not that I am in love, but it is that I'm not in love.
There is this girl called Jade, in my class. Altough I don't really love her, don't really care about her, my friends think I do. But wait, that's not the end of the story. They even announced it to the whole class! I tried as hard as I could to stop them and make her believe that I didn't really love her, but she didn't believe me. She went out of the class exclaiming "f'ing pervert!". I didn't give up, kept on trying. She then said "ok! ok! I know". But the way she started to behave with me after that, makes me really uncomfortable. I,m too shy to even go in front of her.

 

[Mk]

Well jeez, what if she likes you? And you kept telling her no no no.

Your friends suck. Why'd they do that?

Jade is a nice name. Where are you?